Life

Ugh. Rather than reply to a particular post I’ll just put in on the thread. I’m an amateur at best when it comes to forums. first I’ll state again how I am much impressed with the level of maturity from the survivors responses here. Seeings how most of us are stunted in many ways and have had to fight to learn How to communicate on this topic. And survivors we are. There is no need to victim blame / shame either. We have done that to our selves for all the years that led up to this. Ohh… the things we have gone through on this road that was thrust upon us. From 15 to my early 20’s ( after the abuse and recall settled in) I was in a constant state of terror! Shame, guilt, identity confusion, as well a loss of sense of self. Did I exist, or was I a non entity? Add not being able to separate terror from natural sexual feelings. The only reason I survived is I had a human spirit that woke up and became able to keep going. But I didn’t want to. my abuses were reported. Due to the nature of this case and my own sensitivity I’ll leave it at that. ive been fighting this for a long long time. I do not want other kids to suffer at any end of this. I want this problem solved!!!! when asked what is a fair resolve? Ask it like this. If my child was used for sexual gratification at the hand of a grown man, while under the protection of an organization pointed at male youth, knowing his life path will be severely impacted and he may not recover mentally, what would I think is fair. Would you worry about the future of the organization? Or the future of your child?

You still have ‘yellow pages’ ?

Thank you. It’s easy to see who relates and doesn’t by the words they write. I can tell that you do and I wish you didn’t. I wish we didn’t understand. an old therapist (a long time ago, and to be fair, old) of mine told me the child sexual abuse is the worse crime that can be committed against a child. That murder would be mercy in comparison. Worse is to have your soul snatched away and replaced with nothing. I use harsh words because people don’t want to hear the reality of it. I hear you and the others brother. I find solace in the stories I read from us. would you believe I’m actually funny? No really, I am, hilarious.

It’s interesting to read all this. I can sense the court process is causing ‘feelings’ nothing more than feelings. (You know the words). It should. For many of us (me) this all brings up the unseen effects of the molest. The years of psychic pain, confusion, loss of self. Actually, the complete loss of self. I likened to being a cute little wind up toy Wound up at birth and sent on its path. In perfect direction on course to a chance at all that is so easily received in life by many. Then some bully comes along and kicks it, HARD, sending the toy hurling through the air, then crash right into a wall! Now laying on its side, dented, scratched, and broken. The toy is set back on its feet. Still walking but now in circles, now it makes funny noises. Now it seems defective and used inappropriately. Now sent off its original trajectory. Never to be the same again. Repairs are made, but it will always function differently then had it never been kicked. We scolded the bully and at least the other toys are fine. the ramifications of children’s sexual abuse (acronyms can be disarming) run deep and wide, beyond human conception unless you are the human. Many studies come close to describing the trauma but none actually do. there is the perception of ‘well, at least only a few kids were molested, raped, manipulated and ruined. Thank goodness we stopped this one. For now. then there is the perception that kids got molested, raped, manipulated and ruined. lives are destroyed and misaligned. I don’t think we can rest thinking we can minimize the damage. We have to eliminate the risk, period. These kids have to grow up. Some will become addicts and live in those frames. Recovery is tough when it’s trauma related. my point is to look at each victim. Not the kids that were un harmed. this bankruptcy has nothing to do with us. It never really did. But now it’s a joke. And we are here, some for resolve and some to minimize the damage. what about justice? Healing? And why this is not at the forefront of the proceedings is mind numbing. there is always away to solve a problem. But we have to look at the problem and this one is uncomfortable to look at. For all of society.

Much moved and relate %100. If it weren’t for this job thing I have to be at I would be responding in depth. I shall do that after work. thanks for the words.

https://fox2now.com/news/missouri/boy-scout-chaperone-accused-of-placing-hidden-cameras-in-bathrooms-at-summer-camp/amp/ im confused and angry. Forgive me if this is not the place to post this and I will remove it. All the while squabbling in court to compensate past csa survivors while creating more victims. The irony.

Subtitle: And it Never Left.

Thank you.

Part of wanting to chime in is for this very reason. This whole thing doesn't even feel remotely like looking out for us. It would be childish to believe that it could have been for that. Things would move quicker if they were. Humble opinion. I do appreciate what I heard at the last town hall. The measures that will go in effect to minimize future abuse. I also believe that by us all standing up and making some noise will perhaps help to minimize future abuse. In short we can help look out for those that the BSA has failed to do in the past.

I wanted Lif01-32almostaneagle21 but that was taken. Thank you for the welcome!

Thank you, and I empathize as well. well stated on the hyper focused mind. The muddling. Grateful for the welcome.

Thank you. Thanks to you all I’ve been able to see what’s really going on beyond what the media likes to spin. ll bet you two 20mg Prozac pill that we may need more Prozac before this is done. im in this with you all also! Thank you. I have so far!

I remember going to the circus when I was a kid and remember it being a lot more fun. Same treatment of the animals though. ive been following this forum for awhile now and just now decided to chime in. Seems like a calm before the storm so I wanted to pipe up. ive been involved in this since before the bankruptcy. My state, I don’t own it, opened its window in 2020 and my lawyer team filed on my behalf on the 2nd of Jan. They warned it could turn to BR. They even asked if I still wanted to go through with it after that fact. Now I understand why it was questionable. But here I am. I am much impressed by everything you all have contributed. The responses have been courteous and well informed. it pains me that I follow this( daily when I’m obsessed with it) I made it to life scout. My brother got eagle and I got… well, that’s why I’m here. Comedy has been my saving grace, once I pulled out of the self destructive path I had found as a solution. When all this is over I’m going to have a lot of new material. 😉 I use to feel alone in this, now I feel I have 84000 compadres, some false friends I wonder. We could fill the Glenn Hellen amphitheater, but some would be left out side the arena. Which I’m sure may be the case. thank you gentlemen.