jsychk

Respectfully...means I respect his brief/opinion, although it is different from mine. It's okay that we can have different opinions because we live in America, not China! Like you said, we come from different backgrounds. Living in this country, I want this country to be strong and great. IMO I don't think PC helps with the cause. Instead of avoiding the topic, why don't we just tell the truth & teach the reality to the kids?! Men & women are indeed different in so many ways but we can be complimentary to each other. Each gender brings unique strengths & abilities to the world. First of all, I don't tell the kids that our den lacks a strong male leader, why should I? I just discuss that with adults. I just know a strong male leader is what all the moms in our den want. We all want the best for our sons. That's our instinct. I don't understand why you think I shouldn't teach girls that they need help from guys. As a woman, I know I need help from guys, such as making babies, hauling a heavy tree trunk, plumbing, fixing the roof, changing the car oil, repairing all the problems in my house. Can women do it? Absolutely (except the baby one). But do we really WANT to do it, mostly not! We (women) want a strong male leader for our sons in scouting, but that doesn't make boys to disrespect (not fully respect) women because I believe women bring other values to the table. I apologize that I need to use plain English because English is my 2nd language and I am no lawyer here.

Pale Horse: I am not here to argue about the political correctness. I am sorry! I don't believe in it. elitts: You do speak what I mean to say, too.

Pale Horse: Is it mandatory for parents to retain full control over the scout's account by the BSA? You have a good point that the parents can edit advancement and the DL/AC reserves the right to approve it. However, I respectfully disagree with the sexist part because the quality of a strong male leader is very different from the same of a strong female leader. That's a fact. Let me put it that way. Men & women are never equal, ever. We are definitely wired differently. Men & women process different unique abilities. Just like my situation, when problems happen, I want to talk about it, vent and be heard. That's the emotion part of a woman. However, the men's problem-solving advice is more like "follow the procedure, get over & move on." Period. I was a den leader before. I thought I did pretty good because I had more than 80% attendance for all my den meetings 2 to 3 times a month (mandatory by the CM, a strong male leader) & 90% of the scouts earned their rank. (Footnote) However, I don't think I can transform those boys into men under my leadership because I know I just don't have it. When I present something to the boys, they don't listen (or pay attention) as attentively as an old veteran presenting. (Footnote) That dad who entered 19 adventures in 2 weeks was there when the (previous) CM was a strong male leader, and he didn't dare to pull that trick on him. He knows the CM would make sure all the awards are accounted for. And again, this CM's strong leadership brought us the most prosperous time of our Pack, with 83 scouts.

FireStone: You have to have the Pack Admin key to edit the Connection Manager. Or, you ask the Pack Admin to give you the permission.

Firestone: Yes, you can set up to allow the parents to view but not edit. Thank you so much for everyone's input. I guess I will just give him the pins in the next Pack meeting then.

To tell you the truth, I just think our den lacks of a real male leader, which has been all along. Currently, our tiger & wolf dens have 2 strong male leaders each, they are doing great with a huge number of scouts! Our bear and Webelos I dens have 1 strong female leader each, they get by with few scouts. Last year, the Webelos II had 19 scouts because we had 1 strong dad who took the responsibility of leading the boys and providing a rich program. Because of that, the den drew more scouts to sign up and more dads to assist at the end. Moms were there to support by decorating the B&G venue, helping with the food, etc,. I think this is what a Pack should look like. Anyway, after speaking to that dad last night, he canceled 4 adventures & sticks to the rest after viewing the requirements on the book. Actually, he is the only parent who cheats adventure belt loops & pins in our Pack. I am not surprised. He got a master degree but couldn't find a job (lack of social skills, think high IQ is everything, a little arrogant), so he went back to school & is working on his Ph.D. while his dad (used to be the treasurer and very good scouter) has to go back to work and support him because that dad's wife committed suicide. She was the breadwinner. We do ask parents to help. For example, i have been advertising my AC position since September via email & announcement repeatedly. I offered training and after support but I have not found any volunteer.

qwazse: what I mean of "he knows better how to go about" is...everyone needs to chip in and does a little to bring a quality program for the boys. He was a Boy Scout, definitely has more knowledge about scouting than this mom who knew nothing about scouting to begin with. The dad is also working on his Ph.D. so I think his ability to process English is way better than me when it comes to understand the requirements. Our new CC is just sent to Middle East. Our CM is extremely busy with his district attorney job. He always told us that he hadn't slept for days to prepare documents for the court. Our treasurer/assistant cub master/trainer is the only man (a 70-something year old veteran) who is holding down the fort. He's the one who had everyone completed the training (trainer job) & filed for the recharter (CC job) last month. As I will move on next month, he said he will take over my AC position too....but I also cover some of the CM responsibilities. His grandson is a Webelos I so I hope more parents will step up soon. Actually, one dad does step up to be the Wolf den assistant. He brings good energy to the Pack. The mom couple are great, too. They always try to help. They are the only two people who step up to be the committee members. TMSM: Besides the Scouting Adventure, he also crossed out 3 adventures that now he said they didn't complete but doesn't know why it's on my advancement report (because they are signed off by him on Scoutbook, with his login & date). Basically, if I didn't press him on last night, his son would get the pins just because his dad checked the boxes.

Thank you! I was wrong. It's not because of the year tab. I really think the dad was lying because I talked to him at the pack meeting tonight. I think he wants to get all the elective pins for his son so he casually went through them, checked the boxes & called it good. For example, for the scouting adventure, it requires a troop meeting AND troop outdoor activity/camp out. He & his son attended one day of the campout (they didn't camp). That only counted for the troop outdoor activity but not a troop meeting. Then, he said he did the troop meeting before the break. I asked him which day & which troop so I can verify with the troop. He said the same troop we went to the Invitational together. My oldest son goes to this troop & I take him to the weekly meeting every time. I didn't see him. Then, he said "never mind, we will do it tomorrow!"...but HE HAS CHECKED THE SCOUTING ADVENTURE AS COMPLETED last week. Then, I asked him how did his son do the patrol (pick a patrol name, elect a leader). He said he did it at the campout. No! I was there. They didn't pick the patrol name or elect a leader via the voting process. But again, he checked it as completed. He said some of the adventures were completed last year (but the date stamp was a week or 2 weeks ago). For example, he said the BSA swim test was done during the summer, the date stamp should reflect that, right? However, that BSA swim test was checked last Saturday by him. He kept saying he didn't mark anything so he doesn't understand why several adventures showed up as completed. However, his login name is all over with a date stamp from the last 2 weeks. When I told him that the patrol needs to be done within our den, he had the gut to complain "we don't have a den meeting this year." At least one parent (from each family) in our den have done SOMETHING to contribute to the Pack this year, except him. He was a boy scout before, shouldn't he know better how to go about?

I discovered something! On the Advancement page of Scoutbook, there are 3 tabs (top) for years: 2010, 2015, 2016-20. What are these years for? For my kids, if I press 2015, they completed 98% but if I press 2016-20, they completed 91%... I wonder if the dad changed the selection of the year so he just checked all the adventures again?!?!?! Now, I can't view his year selection because his son has completed the AOL. When I got his 19 adventure pins, some of them looked familiar. But still, no way he can do the patrol method on their own. Although the dad said he set up 2 troops when he was a Boy Scout in the 90s but he has not taken the leadership role for the last 5 years. The parents of the den are not happy about him because when we had den meetings, we invited his son to complete adventures together. However, when he did over 10 adventures with his son, he had not invited us once. Our den leader is burned out (after 4 years) and quits this year. We haven't had a den meeting for half year. The parents (i.e. moms) in our den are basically crippling to the finish line next month!!! Yes, I am the Advancement Chair. Yes, I don't want confrontation because that dad is 3 times bigger than me. Thanks!

I have an issue with awarding. Our Pack allows the den leaders and parents to enter the scout's adventures into the Scoutbook. I have one Webelos II who will get 19 adventure pins this month. Some of them deem questionable because he can't do the patrol method alone to meet the Scouting Adventure requirement. I have a concern that the dad (who was a Boy Scout) may abuse the honorary system of entering the achievement as a parent. What should I do? Thanks!

Actually, I think I am that middle person right now. Last night, cub master talked to me about the membership coordinator stepping down. He kinda wanted me to contact the popcorn kernel and talked to her about it. I texted her, and she called me. I told her that she's overwhelming us, coming on too strong or with tons of emails/texts. However, her explanation makes sense to me because it's really nobody is stepping up and leads. I basically see both sides of view. In August, we had a scheduled activity that was totally missing because nobody was in charge. I don't think I can even be that single point of information distribution because one time she tried to call me for something scout related. I was in an important meeting so I declined the call. She immediately called me again & again so I finally turned off my phone. I bet this will drive others crazy. But after my meeting, I texted her back. She was fine, not mad at me or anything.

For us, the cub master, treasurer/assistant cub master, advancement chair (me), chairman (left) are the committee members. I guess the COR should be the committee member, too. Long story short...we couldn't find any church/organization to charter us after the change of the BSA rules. Finally, we found this local business organization that is willing to sponsor our Pack. However, they don't get involved at all. Their representative did't do the online training. They did one fundraising for us, which I think it's more for their business' public relation. The CC (mom) left because she couldn't handle the popcorn kernel (mom). I like the CC (mom) because she was a treasurer, popcorn kernel for her oldest son's troop in the past. She knows how the scouting works. Her oldest son is an Eagle. However, she told me that she couldn't handle the popcorn kernel because she never listens. Popcorn kernel (mom) doesn't have any prior scouting experience. She has the drive for sure. She gets things done. Like Eagledad said, she is very productive, organized and efficient. Although she talks over me and comes on strong sometimes (she demands every scout to do certain hours of selling popcorn as a rule), she doesn't bother me as long as we get things done. The cub master is new and a little inexperienced in the leadership role, although he is a Life Scout. He drafted the annual Pack activity agenda. Like this weekend (4 more days to go), we supposed to have a Pack hike. We don't know where or when. Popcorn kernel is antsy. New people emailed her and asked. She wants to create the signup genius because she wants to get the information out to the Pack so everyone can plan for this weekend. The treasurer is a retired military old guy. I admire and respect him. When our Pack had the crossover ceremony last June, it was a mess because the cub master couldn't attend at the last minute due to his job. A den leader stepped up without any preparation and it was chaotic. After that, the treasurer decided to step up to be the assistant cub master as well. He understands this dynamics (popcorn kernel is productive) but he also gets upset by her. I am leaving next February as my kids will cross over to BS.

Hello! I am with my Pack for 7 years. We used to be a strong pack because the cub master was very strong, dedicated but a bit demanding. Some adult volunteers got ticked off and left. The staying one argued and fought with him at the leadership meeting. However, the program was rich for the boys because the cub master made things happened. Now, we have a similar issue with the popcorn kernel who does more than a popcorn kernel. She means well. Her hard work helps the dying pack to gain 10 members and possibly volunteers. However, she is a bit aggressive, talk over people, has her own mind to run...or they said out of control. Our chairwoman left the pack because she couldn't stand her (talking over her and ignoring her wish). Yesterday, the new membership coordinator stepped down because of her, too. The cub master has a full time job that keeps him very occupied so the popcorn kernel helped a lot by planning everything for the first pack meeting. She tried so hard to recruit new people and do fund raising at the same time. She spent a lot of her time organizing and planning for the pack because she doesn't want to lose the new people's interest. But the other leaders are not happy with her because she constantly oversteps her role and "order" other to do things. They got so annoyed because she keeps sending long texts/emails several times a day. Since she is so capable, dedicated and enthusiastic, I suggest that she should be the new chairwoman (filling the empty position to solve our re-chartering problem and legitimizing her behaviors since she is into everyone's business anyway). However, the cub master said if she does, other leaders will leave. If you are an experienced cub master, what would you do?

Correction: I checked my title, which is Committee Member, not ASM. Sorry! qwazse, The troop chairman advised that if my boy plans to be in scout in LONG haul, I should do the WB. If not, that's ok. This troop expects every parent to be involved and work together, like a triangle (troop, scout and parent all work together). I was asked to do the WB training in October, but I can't so he said I can do it next spring (around March). I don't mind learning something new. My oldest son doesn't think I am able to get the WB, so maybe this is an opportunity to show him! I hope the training doesn't leave me in the wilderness alone with a compass, right?

awanatech, Both troops are great troops! I believe the differences are the involvement of the parent as well as the relationship with the troop leaders. I don't think my husband had a good relationship with a few of the previous troop leaders due to his lack of communication skills. As I am more involved with the current troop, I have to become the ASM (8 hours of training) and I am also expected to get the wood badge training soon. Right now, the troop leader knows that I am the committee member in cub scout for my other two boys so he seems to give me a break. I think after all my boys crossing over to Boy Scouts, I will be fully expected to assist more.

Not sure if anyone is interested, but I would like to give an update and also thank you for supporting me and giving me guidance. In March, I signed my then 12-year-old up in another troop and have been personally keeping a tap on him. Although he has been in scouting half of his life, he was not sure about it at the beginning and fought against my decision. I guess he was worried if the leaders in the new troop were aware of his behavior from the previous troop since both were in the same district. Anyway, once again, I had to fight my lone battle with him. I made sure he attended all the troop meeting and camp out. After 3 months, he finally felt comfortable with other scouts and even looked forward to the camp out. He even went to the week long summer camp without any problem this year, had many signoffs as well as merit badges. He also got his tenderfoot in May, and now he said he should get his 2nd class in September. He plans to get his 1st class by next spring. I can't wait for him to obtain his 1st class so he can go on a high adventure trip with the other boys during the summer. Thanks again for your reading, support and guidance.

No, he is not vegetarian. He has egg allergy (that was registered). Like my husband, he is a picky eater. At any camp, he picked anything he felt comfortable to eat. If they serve hamburger, he can eat the hamburger patty, not the bread. He doesn't eat hot dog. He can eat salad and most fruits. He usually comes home hungry after each camp. Before, my husband would buy him a Sam's Club bag of beef jerky or candy until I found out. The sodium or sugar content of beef jerky is way too much for a child to consume for a weekend, so I stopped it. Seriously, their eating is another world for me to struggle.

Let me clarify! The leader called us on Wednesday & asked us to pick up my son from the camp. My husband did. When the troop came back from the camp on Sunday, my husband went over to pick up my son's "lugguage" and had a brief meeting with the leaders. They didn't talk about the discipline (i.e. 6 months suspension) until after the SM tried to set up a face-to-face meeting with my husband. Somehow my husband couldn't make it so they eventually did it over the phone. After that, my son was given the suspension. We don't know about the other kid who was also suspended. It would be nice to know because his dad was very involved with the Troop. The dad has always been dedicated to scouting so he would have a better understanding of the discipline. Now, thinking back....I should have gotten involved at that time because I had always been in charge of my son until he went to Boy Scouts. My son also talked to me about his camping adventures so I can probably communicate with the leaders better. I apologize for not explaining clearly. Please pardon me for my poor English, which is my second language.

I totally understand the importance of the family foundation, but what if the dad doesn't lead and is not being proactive? How long should I wait? After a few years, I figured out my husband is not teaching the boys "the guy stuff" along the way, I have to step in one way or the other. First of all, I don't think my husband is against Scouting. He just doesn't seem to care either way. He knows what I choose for our boys is good for them. Secondly, my son seems to have a good time camping and hanging out with his friends. It is possible that my kids may not reach to the Eagle (two dedicated parents surely help!) but I still appreciate what he learns in the process. Sadly, I see more and more dads are like that now. I don't know why. Almost 10 years, most of our Pack leaders were male/dads. If there's a female/mom, it's ONLY because her husband is in the military overseas or she is a single mom. Now, our Pack has a few moms whose husbands are around but never step up to volunteer or be the leaders.

Actually, the former leader in your troop sounds like our "victim's" mother. My son said the mother would tell the scouts where to put their tents during a dispute among the scouts (including her son). My son thought it's their job to figure things out on their own. It sounds like if something doesn't go in the kid's way, he would go to his mother and his mother would interfere. Apparently, other scouts don't like it. Also, my son mentioned that the kid has special need so maybe the mother tries to shelter him even more. I am not sure if this is true or not, but my son came home and told me many stories like these. I didn't interfere because 1) my husband was in charge of his scouting business; 2) I think my son should see different kinds of parents & learn how to handle them. 3) This does not cause any physical harm. My husband is the hand-off type, no doubt. That's also why I thought he is good for the job because my husband wouldn't be nervous like me when it comes to boy's adventures. However, he hasn't mastered the skills of parenting a pre-teen like flying a kite...let him explore a little but if he goes too far and may fall; you pull the string back...I think my husband just let the kite goes wherever the wind carries it...until it drops, so he had to drive to the camp and pick him up!

The Troop suspended my son when they were in an out-of-state camp (10 hours away). They called us to pick him up at around 11 AM on Wednesday. My husband drove over there after work (5 PM). In fact, the other suspended kid's dad was nice enough to pick both (suspended) kids up from the camp and drove in our direction. My husband supposed to meet them somewhere in between and he paid for the hotel reservation (2 rooms) for everyone. According to the BSA policy, the other kid's dad can't sleep in the same room with my kid alone even his son is present. I think at the end my husband just picked my kid up at the hotel, turned around and headed back home in the middle of the night. My son was the first time offender. I don't think he got in a fight with the "victim". He was the one who asked the other kid to let him go. From what my son wrote, all the boys were playing a game. The "victim" was "it" & hidden in a tent. When the boys discovered him, he ran away so other kids chased him. One kid caught him and they rolled on the ground. No adult was there and witnessed anything. Each involved kid was interrogated by a leader (who is in active military) alone in the tent. They came up with the conclusion. Two kids were suspended and 4 or 5 other kids were given warning. Parents were called. Now, the suspension is over. I just want to learn from this and move on. The kid needs scouting and he wants to go back but just doesn't know where.

First of all, thank you so much for reading my post and gave me your thoughtful advice. It sounds like most agree on talking to the Scoutmaster. At this point, I have to give a try. I hope I will run into a couple leaders at the recognition dinner on Thursday and hopefully get to know my son's status in their troop. I have not been involved with the Troop much, but I heard tidbits from my husband or son here & there. I think my son works better the previous SM who is a college professor and has 6 or 7 kids. He seems to give the boys plenty of room to make mistakes & learn. For example, my son said they were assigned to build a shelter (using sticks & leaves?) at the camp. If the shelter lasts til next day, they get sign-off. A scout built one on the branches above ground & slept in it but fell down in the middle of the night & broke his arm (parents were called). The current SM sounds more strict. He doesn't allow tree climbing. My son said they punished another group of scouts for jumping down from a building at the same camp last year. They said the boys' wild behaviors were embarrassing and give their troop a bad name. I don't see scouting is a replacement for Dad but an addition to help my boys to learn more from different role models. After all, it takes a village to raise a child. He respects two leaders in this troop very much. From the book "Raising Boys," I hope he will find a mentor who would tell him that buying that motorcycle is a stupid idea in Colorado!"

mashmaster, you are fine! I don't think they were referring your response as being scary. Your input is valuable to me and I don't think you offended anyone. They were just referring to the "Thread" on why my son was suspended from the troop for 6 months. You are cool!

Hello! I am a mom of 3 boys. Two of them are in Cub Scout and I am heavily involved with the Pack and all their activities. My oldest son should be in Boy Scout now. After I worked with him through 5 years of cub scouting (2012-2017), I let my husband to take charge of him in Boy Scout (Feb 2017) because I think he is more suitable for the role as all the Troop leaders are men. Moreover, after reading the book "Raising Boys," I thought my husband should be more involved with him so this Boy Scout adventure will give the father-and-son duo some opportunities to bond and learn from each other. I was wrong! It turned out my husband wasn't really involved with him or the Troop. His involvement was only dropping him off and picking him up at the Troop meeting/campout. He told me that's what the Troop leaders want (I feel kinda strange because I am one of the Pack leaders and we always love the involvement of parents). Anyway, my husband explained that boys need to be independent so they don't want parents to help them at the meeting. Six months ago, my (tender foot) son got in trouble at the out-of-state camp out and got suspended for 6 months. My husband picked him up and later met with the leaders. I was so confused about what to do next so I sought advice from you guys about this incident in this forum. Some said finding another troop while other said learning from this mistake and move on. At that time, my son wanted to go back to this troop because he said he has friends there. He still communicates with them briefly on my phone. Through his scout friend, he said the troop had a special meeting about the incident at the camp and put all the blame on him and another boy who is also suspended. Now, he thinks if he goes back to this troop, the other scouts will not play with him because the parents would not let them. He even said we didn't enroll him last August so he may not even be in the organization now. My husband is a passive type of guy, but I have no idea that he didn't follow through at all (at least enroll him for this year...). This month, I keep wondering why my son hasn't gone back to his troop meeting because his suspension is up. My husband just kept quiet and said nothing. I asked my son if he wants to continue, and he said yes but he just doesn't know which troop he should go (after knowing that kids from the same troop may not want to play with him anymore). Also, I don't know how easy for him to transfer to another troop because of his suspension. Last month, I found out my husband of 15 years may have Asperger (a high functioning autism), so this may explain why he tends to avoid social interactions with the troop leaders (not following through with them after the incident) and doesn't want to go anywhere or do anything that is new to him (he avoids going to the camp out with the troop). I guess he drops the ball, so the ball is on me now. At this point, I am more determined to get my boy back in Scouting so he could be exposed to other men who are more proactive in life, and hopefully some of them will become his mentors in the coming years. I don't mind calling up the troop master and getting a feel of the situation...and see if they really don't want him back? Or, should I contact another troop? This Thursday, I am honor to get a district service award at the Recognition Dinner (Roundtable). Should I wait and hope to run into the troop leader and talk to him? Any advice is appreciated. Thanks!

Thanks for all your inputs. After some consideration, I have concluded what I need to do for their awards. I appreciate your thoughtful assistance.