Mich08212

Its not how to write the letter, its more about what is written and what to ask for..lol It will be a ceremony like the troop has for the others. No you dont seem aggressive. I know the way things have been presented but in my defense, things had just happened when I posted. SM saying My son was "denied" a COH. If you were here witnessing the heart wrenching look and feelings my son was feeling, Im sure you or any other mom would have presented it. Yes, it is a toxic troop situation. And yes, I still think this is some type of discrimination. Why? because of my sons physical disability with most things. and there was a time of financial hardship. My son had to wear hand me downs for awhile. He was belittled by this man I speak of. Time will take its course with that and this is just the cherry on the cake. Actually, I would be sympathetic. because you just dont know whats going on behind typed words on a screen. Its often hard to express such words in text. One cant hear emotion in them. If this was a voice broad cast, it would certainly be a different tone. Although, there is no tone in a written word. Just what people put to it. Sometimes the written word is so much different then the spoken word. I was and my son and my family and those that helped and assisted are insulted. Sorry but not sorry. This man has caused more distress in the last few years then you can imagine. An insult is nothing here. and FYI, I havent volunteered with these people. lol Thank Goodness! LOL I volunteered as a Cub scout leader for 7 years with a totally different crowd until my son crossed over into boy scouts and this troop. I backed away at that point. The ones I did volunteered with... well, they were a great bunch but oh my word, they couldnt really do much so I stepped up and did most everything besides becoming the pack leader,,,llol Id do it again though. I miss it. Miss everything about it. I appreciate the guidance. I love everything Ive been told. I will plan it and move on. My son plans on continuing in scouting and so do I ... actually. I think the BSA is THE BEST organization for all boys! and I always will. One bad apple wont spoil the whole bunch... whooops... I dated myself..lol

That you SSF. I appreciate you. Yes, its a pretty horrifying thing. to think he put all his heart and soul into this for such a long time. He feels disrespected, insulted, humiliated, shunned. And Im his mother. Watching him hurt like this really sends me reeling. As a mom, I dont care how old my son is, I will always have his back and I would do the same for anyone else. No Im not going to consult an attorney. I will do what I can. I was directed y a nice council member today to write the SM a letter telling him of my plans for a ECOH and I'll need to invite the troop and get those letters out etc etc. I will seek the SM guidance and hopefully he will oblige. I dont see why he wont. Hes a nice guy. We want a formal ceremony like every other eagle from this troop has gotten. People speaking on behalf of my son and the charity getting their check for overage of money my son raised for them after the project was completed. The charity raved about my boy. THEY even deserve to have that moment too. Many people deserve to see my son be honored that way and many deserve to be honored as well. I have people bewildered about this and are just as disgusted including my sons father. Its the whole package really. i Just have to figure out how to pull it off the same way the troop would. I do have a place in mind to hold it. a nice hall above the Fire Dept where my deceased dad (2nd lieutenant) had served for so long.

Really? I read every word and bullet pointed everything for your questions. Whats all your questions then?? Insulted a committee member... ROFLMAO.. thats really comical. The man has done nothing but belittle and bully my son since he started in the troop in 6th grade. Seriously? Whemn did this guy become God?? Excuees? For my son? Listen up here. I certainly dont make excuses for ANYONE. My son has had a physical disability since he was born. So you have some nerve. I never brushed off the cancer. I simply gave you your answer. Why? Would you like a story book on on that too? I did not take over his work book. Heres what I said: My son did not understand when the workbook should have been completed, therefore I took the reigns at that point. Again, the troop was very laid back. I did not say I took over his workbook. I had to take the reigns meaning I had to get some answers from the SM about it. My son did the same. No kidding really? do a ECOH on my own? Thats what Ive been saying in this thread for a day or so now. Of course I will step up to the plate and do what I can.

No problem I understand, I replied to bearess with his rude comments but bullet pointed everything clearly. Yes of course this is my Sons COH. My Son wants one. He has no idea how to organize it and as a former event planner, he finds that I can do this very efficiently so in lieu of this I was asking how to actually do it. Getting the names and addresses and things. Because, the Troop has always done this. I dont even know what a letter would look like. My motivation is that my son gave all of his life to scouts since he was 6 and to earn the honor of Eagle. A very Proud moment. You dont think your son should have a COH ... If this was your situation? Im not going to force these guys but I should say there is a ring leader who has bullied my son for several years and to top the cake is on the council and is committee chair. IDK what his problem is but this seriously needs to be addressed. And yes it is an insult. You dont think so? The guys he hung with have crossed into Eagle themselves and are not present at meetings any longer. the SM knows how to reach them. There are knew younger boys from the 6th grade there now. My son doesnt know them. Most often after high school, boys just go into their own little worlds and dont keep in touch like girls do. Patrol mates have moved on too... not with troop anymore. Most all move on. My son didnt wait 9 months. Hes been reaching out with no answer until last week,. The end game. To celebrate and have a COH ceremony that my son should have after all these years of hard work. Its actually simple. Informal ceremony? that would be a party. No such thing as an informal ceremony. Its either a ceremony or its a party. We've had our share of parties. Lets look at it this way for a moment.... Its like graduating from College with a MBA, being given your diploma in a plastic shopping bag and saying hell, you can go to the cap and gown ceremony have a good life heres your diploma, bye. really?? You'll want to know why and it better be a damn good reason. and to find out that a Dean of schools didnt like you so you are missing out on something that you deserve to be recognized for. and, they have the last word? really? Thats how I look at it. My son deserves a reason and Im looking for a little bit of help putting this together.

Hey SSF... I just bullet pointed everything for bearess. This should clear up all those questions. Again, My son turned 18 06/09/99 the same day the paperwork was handed in. The last day to get it in. And to my knowledge, there has been many who have handed paperwork in on their 18th b-day. So thats the reason the EBOR was done after his birthday, But they wait so long after to have it?? Then never respond to a COH? until finally a week ago??

I find this very hard not to answer because yes I am looking for guidance. I made myself as clear as I could considering that the troop as been so non responsive themselves. Lets bullet point. Son turned 19 June 9th 2017. Same day he handed in paperwork for project and work book. WHY? because the troop twiddled their thumbs as my son asked for guidance during the whole project and before right after he made Life. My son did not understand when the workbook should have been completed, therefore I took the reigns at that point. Again, the troop was very laid back. EBOR? How Am I supposed to know when the thing was to be done??? It was done in October. I didnt know there was a time limit but did find it strange that they didnt do it much sooner than they did. Again, another laid back situation. Approved by National? How am I supposed to know? The Troop is so laid back that they are going backwards. Yes my son is an Eagle. He finally was given the wallet card and certificate in a plastic bag recently. My son did reach out several times about COH. Did not hear a peep until recently. (come to find out the SM had a bout with cancer) Still .... Someone should have contacted my son at this point. Yes, My son attends all functions. Yes Scout master said//... QUOTE "Council denied the COH" with no reason. He says He's not privy to.?? No my son did not misunderstand. My son is much smarter than most adults I know!! I allege discrimination because look at the writing on the wall. One of the Leaders is a committee chair. And My gut and intuition tells me that its Him causing the rukous. His name is Doug. Hes given my son trouble in the past and has been out right rude and nasty not only to me but my husband that has met him but only ONE TIME!! So yeah... My son is very very thin and cant do much physical activity... He has been a victim of bullying. This Doug is one of them. Next, I have recently talked with a council member and he told me I can do my own COH BUT I cannot MC it, if thats what you mean by hosting. Of course I can find the POTUS online etc etc... I have no idea what the Troop does.. they are the ones that write the letters to all these people. They always have. I understand that my son can choose to have a COH or not. I believe since hes been so active and hard working with the troop and been in since he was 6 years old that he should have one. Its an honor to become Eagle that Most quit way before they even get there. Thats great that its a nice thing that the troop does, theyve done it for e v e r y single eagle that comes through. but my Son? no. Really??? Whats up with that. As for bad blood? Lets go back to Doug.. The Boy wonder Adult here. Throwing around his weight thinking hes king sh**. My son has always been respectful and held his tongue whenever this man or should I say mouse, has ever belittled him. And Now... no COH. Why? because this jackass named Doug has got a stick up his butt for my son and theres no reason for it. it sickens me. So is that enough explanation for you bearess??? hmmm?

Thank you so much SSF. You are absolutely correct. Guidance is exactly what Im looking for. ❤️

At this point, I'll probably do my own ECOH. Just getting addresses and names of scouts in the troop present and past will be difficult because heck.... the world isnt what it was 30 years ago. lol I'll have to rely on the SM. If there was an oversight well, I it wouldnt surprise me with the experience Ive had with the Troop Leaders. The sad thing is that as a parent I had questions of my own. For crying out ,loud, I never gone through this before and wont again because my son is my only child. When I asked questions they were rude and slow to give them. Even when my son had questions, it was like pulling teeth to get those answered. IDK why. crazy. immature. In fact, one of the leaders and FYI, council man, I had a scuffle with because he took such deep offense of me asking "How can we speed up the process" meaning when my son was busting his butt to get things done, they were taking their sweet time to the next meeting or to give him the funds from what he raised to buy the materials for his project. ya know, things like that. It was a simple question and holy cow this guy blew his lid. I was taken by it. A simple No would have sufficed. With that said, I believe this guy denied my sons ECOH and thats why we are in this situation. Gut feelings dont lie

I absolutely LOVE this reply. Thank you so much. You are 100% RIGHT> an Eagle doesnt need anyone to toot his own horn. I am thankful for this. I have a list of address such as the POTUS, governor etc. Just wanna see an example letter of what someone would write to send to these people. Considering we do not have ANY addresses for the scout troop (remember the times) everything is internet based. lol I will need to write to the SM and make a letter inviting everyone. I would like a head count so I know how much food or drink to have though. Ive event planned lots of things like big weddings and graduation parties. This will be a piece of cake. What kind of speakers did you have?

Thats absolutely wonderful. Can you supply me with example letters that some sends to these people? And anything else like a ECOH ceremony script etc etc

Here is what I want to answer on and cant find a way to do it so Im copying and pasting. This all sounds a bit weird to me. If I were to guess what is happening I would say that someone on the committee for scoutmaster or other powerful individual in The Troop decided that The Troop should not take the time and expense to plan a court of honor 4 an 18 year old who has been out of the troop and not active in the unit since aging out a year ago. Scoutmaster then goes to insinuate the decision came from Council and the truth is just following that. Is it reasonable or correct for a troop to make such a decision? I don't know for sure. Perhaps there are Financial and time restrictions on the troop that they feel the cost and time and Personnel Resources required for a court of honor are not in the overall interest or capability of the troop at this point. If this is the case I still cannot believe that the actions taken are appropriate. A better line of action might be to explain the Troop resource constraints and ask for the scout or his family to take on more of the planning or financial responsibilities of putting on the court of honor. The other option would be to offer to present and recognize the Eagle at a normal troop court of honor and if the Scout or family wanted more than it was up to them to go above and beyond that. Now for my response. yes, obviously its someone of power making the decision. Next, Its not about time or expense here. My son finished everything on his 18th birthday June 9th. Complete. BOR was in October. Next is ECOH. Like e v e r y other boy in the troop, most dont finish till their 18th BD. then BOR then a ECOH. all in timely fashion for everyone.... well except my son. With that said. THEY WILL NOT give my son a reason for this. Regardless, they should give my son a reason,. and FYI: they just had a court of honor for a boy who just made eagle.. so I say... ITS NOT FINANCIAL>

My question to that is how? When the chief of police speaks and legislation comes to speak and recognition from higher ups the the POTUS... These are all the things that happen at a ECOH. As well as the recipient of the Eagle project is there to collect any money left over from the project. People are thanked. How would I put together something like that when I have no idea how to contact the POTUS etc etc. That is the job of the Troop leaders that have done it for every other boy who has reached eagle in this troop.

LOL oh ok.. Yes Ive been lurking..lol The reason for that is I did call a council member who did call me back etc etc but he hasnt returned my call. And the SM replied to my email last week apologizing for not getting back and he will reply with his thoughts but still havent heard back from anyone. Which is of course making me more suspicious and angry

Actually, my son wasnt at college. He was in college here at home and not away. Nope, nothing missing from the story. Thats about it. june 9th 18th birthday. paperwork in complete. waited for EBOR. October EBOR. My son was not away at college. he goes to community college. Hes home. So no reason for a time lapse for EBOR> found out JUly there will be no ECOH.

In my case for my son, The Eagle BOR was done in October. His 18th birthday was June 9th. His project was completed a week before his birthday. He got the paperwork in on his birthday done and complete. I remember it well. It was October. Cant be sure of exact date but maybe it was the 22nd. or some facsimile there of. We dropped him off and prayed like all parents do..lol Picked him up at the library where they held it. And once we did, thats when we found out he passed. So from that moment on, we waited to find out about the ECOH. And waited and waited. My son contacted them about it letting them know the head Commissioner of the free masons (who happens to be his grandfather) wanted to speak for my son at his COH as he has done with other Eagles for the troop. My son gave them the info so they can assure that he would be speaking. And we waited. So, with that said, just a week ago or so, the SM told him they had to talk and thats when the SM told my son that he was denied ECOH. quote unquote. That was his words exactly and said that he wasnt privy to the reason why. SM gave my son his medal, buttons and certificate then. What do you mean OP lurking?

Yes the buck is stopping with the committee and I have a sneaky suspicion I know what the situation is about and may have to contact a lawyer. And yes I will do that if necessary. My son didnt push deadlines. Following the guidance of the troop leaders that took forever in assisting him along the way as promised. I only feel entitled because every s i n g l e scout who has made eagle has gotten a ECOH. And my son? Not? They can have the reigns when governing it. They usually do.

I agree totally. I did put out some emails today and there really is only 1 person that is efficient at helping so far and thats the DE> I will be placing calls. Thank you so much. Love your screen name!

Hev was approved for Eagle. He has his certificate and medal. He finished his project and paper work was submitted the day of his 18th birthday.

Yes he turned 19 this past june. Hes been in scouts since he was 6 years old. so I dont understand when you ask if he registered as an adult. Yes I believe that this committee is trying to make one. I just emailed the SM to get his take on this. He didnt give a reason just said that he fought for my son for it.

LMAO. I hear ya Barry. And thats why I say, as all are only volunteers how in the heck can they have the audacity to not participate in a COH for my son. They've done it for everyone else. I spent a good part of my years as a Leader in the Boy scouts. I know what Im dealing with..lol

Yes and thank you. He does have a right to an explanation and not a made up one at that. IDK if there is discrimination. But I will find out.

Thank you Barry. I appreciate your response. Yes it is personal and yes I am offended so is my son. I am going as far as emailing the DE and CC about this. We do deserve answers. I of course am a professional and will keep it that way. If it needs to go to a higher level, I will do my due diligence. yes its a miss... because I only know what Ive shared thus far

I appreciate your response. thank you so much! Love the design of your COH. Very nice. Love it! It is bizzare and I believe it was council that said no to the COH. and I agree, why deny the celebration. And of course it will be addressed in a professional matter. I really feel that at this point its not just about my son. I believe if they are going to do this with other Hardworking Eagles that this needs to be addressed immediately. I am all for making changes and I stand up for the under dogs.

Ok, This words that were used by the SM was DENIED. so thats why Im using these words here. As for the explaining, I have spent over an hour explaining to others the situation. Please read through the feed. Yes I want a COH for my Son. Yes I want to get to the bottom of this. Just saying they wont have a COH for my son is not good enough. There needs to be a viable reason and the reason should be presented. period.

IDK if there is discrimination and thats why I'm going to get to the bottom of this once and for all. And there certainly hasnt been any past bad behavior coming from my son. I do know a couple of the scouts that became eagle that have had bad behavior and still had COH's. I do not know one Eagle from this troop that has not been denied a COH. So it seems, my son is being singled out for some reason that I am seeking answers to. My son has reached out after attaining Eagle about the COH. NOT A PEEP until a couple of days ago when his SM wanted a sit down to discuss it after he finally answered after months of trying to find out how we move forward with a COH. Thats when my son found out that there will be no COH. What I can tell you and I suspect is a few months before and during working on his eagle project, that an email was simply sent asking how we could speed up the process and if there was anything we could do because the troop was twiddling there thumbs on necessary things to be done before my sons 18th birthday. It was a mere question that was asked. a simple yes or no answer would have sufficed but one of them came back yelling and taking offense to it. BTW, I was the one that asked the question. I was curious about the process. Seriously, if this is the cause.. they have a lot of growing up to do.