Mich08212

Thank you for your response. Yes, I too believe he needs his time in the spotlight. We are located on Long Island. Where are you?

Thats a wonderful scenario! Thank you for sharing that. Even that would be ok for my son. Ive never seen the troop ever do that. Its always a ceremony. But I certainly wouldnt mind it

Amen. Yes As i stated in previous replys... I will be having my own COH for my son. Im just trying to work out the particulars.

Thank you so much Wisconsin momma. Its good to hear from another mom out there. This is exactly the problem I have. Meanwhile others are asking for inside stories and that there must be something more that I'm not telling. Our committee chair is exactly like how you described yours to be. Theres no explanation. It disgusts me that people like this can be allowed to be leaders. And quite frankly, someone needs to step up and voice it. People just cant walk away from this kind of abuse or discrimination.

so FYI... I still have no gotten a reply back from the SM. No we have no idea what the dog gone problem is. A council member told me to reach out to the SM and invite him and the others. In fact the council member said that some of them will in fear of looking like jack asses...LOL thats what he said... quote. it doesnt matter to me who speaks but the council member said I could not MC it. I can host it but, there needs to be a script for the ceremony.

I'll copy and paste... by the way, I havent heard back still with his response from my answer to his email. (This has always been the case trying to get answers for anything in this troop) My first email to the Scout master: Hey Bob! Adam told me that you had a bout with cancer and I want to tell you how very sorry I am to hear that but happy that you are ok. I pray for a clean bill of health for you.I was shocked to hear it. So words cant express how sorry I am. What Id like to chat with you about is this COH. I'd personally like to know the reasons behind it. Adam said that you and his grandfather fought for him on this. I find it strange that the Troop Committee had no problem signing off the paperwork for Eagle and now have an issue with holding a COH. There needs to be a reasonable explanation )and reasonable is the key word here.) and a viable reason for this. I know that a unit cannot deny a COH they choose to not participate. Why is the question. So as I respect your input, I would like to know why coming from your point of view. Thank you. Feel better. Michelle His REsponse Hi Michelle, Sorry for not getting back to you sooner. Thanks for the warm thoughts. As for Adam’s COH, I signed off on the approval of his project, so that is a done deal. Doug and I signed off on his Eagle Scout application, so that is a done deal. At the board of review, there was one person that would not sign off on the approval, and others had their reservations. So basically the one person stepped aside (abstained from the vote), and everyone else approved. You have to have 100% approval at the board of review to have the boy make Eagle. So that is done, and Adam is an Eagle Scout. Adam has his pins and badge for this. The court of honor for the boy is something that the troop is not required to do. The committee voted on this, and decided not to do it. I spoke with John McGarry a while back, and John and his wife wanted to plead Adam’s case with the committee, but that did not work out. Because John and I are Elks, we could ask the Elks if they would be willing to give him a COH. I think I will leave that up to John to ask them. That is where it stands. Sorry for the bad news. Regards, BP My Response to the SM: (sent friday.. still waiting for a reply) Hey Bob! Thank you so much for your reply. and again I am so sorry about the news. I really cant express in words. and certainly not in text. I hope this portion of your life fades fast and you have a 100% clean bill of health. I completely respect you Bob. You do so many great things for the boys. You are pretty remarkable. ok, on to this COH thing..lol Of course we are all proud and thrilled that Adam made eagle. He worked hard for this and stepped up to the plate so much that I, his mom, cant believe the wonderful changes it has made in him and his confidence. Regardless of what Adam says, Adam has wanted this since he turned 6 and started cub scouts. While his friend were quitting one by one, he stayed and committed to this. I'm proud that my son follows through on his commitments. (If you saw pictures of him as a cub scout standing proud and saluting the flag, anyone would see how much he loves scouts) A picture speaks a thousand words) I am aware that the Troop is not required to do a COH. But this brings up a lot of questions for us as a family as a whole. And because Adam has loved scouts so much and has been in for as ,long as he has with this one goal in mind... as usual..lol I'm the mouth piece for the family.. So I'll do my best to explain in text. Hard to find the words this way but here goes... The committee voted on this, and decided not to do it. The question is why? There should be a viable reason for this. Not only the family but Adam deserves to know why. I spoke with John McGarry a while back, and John and his wife wanted to plead Adam’s case with the committee, but that did not work out What happened? Why didnt it work out? Because John and I are Elks, we could ask the Elks if they would be willing to give him a COH. I think I will leave that up to John to ask them. I left a message for John. Waiting for a call back. alrighty then...lol Now I spoke with John Stern. Great guy! He gave me advice on a COH that we could do our selves. In fact he told me to reach out to you about it as well. We would like it to be a ceremony like the troop has done with other eagles. I'll be more than happy to send out the letters to people like the POTUS etc etc. And of course to friends family etc. We would need a MC/Host as John Stern explained. If the elks lodge cant do it, I may have a place for free as my Dad was a 2nd lieutenant up for chief for the Holtsville FD before he passed. The Hall upstairs in that FD. That could be an option. Food and refreshments, I could take care of and setting up the place.. tables etc etc.. All that is no problem. As well as clean up... Im good with that. We will want to of course invite the troop, you, and leaders. Any district members. Save a pet charity. I believe theres a sum of money still left from the fundraising that Save a Pet should be awarded or given. Not sure if Im forgetting anything here. Im willing and able to put in the work. Whatever it takes. Just need guidance of steps and procedures and what not.. So yes, it is bad news that whoever or whomever cant see clearly enough in the committee to do a COH is a sad very sad situation and travesty but Good news... We can still Do one and theres no time limit to it and still do things in the traditional ceremony way. Thanks Bob. I look forward to your reply Thats it.. play by play... and like I said, Im still waiting on the response. Its been 4 days.

Thank you gblotter

Right it isnt my sons story..lol My son was up front and present for everything, meetings ECOH, Camp, Webelos woods.. name it. He was there. Right from the beginning

Amen gblotter. Thats the only attitude to have. I wish all you guys here in this forum could be there!

Naaa My son never crossed him. Tried to stay out of his way after the very first time this guy bullied him. Yes you are right and It is Sad. You took the words right out of my mouth. It is Sad... Even adults need to act according to the scout Law. I will keep those words in mind. Wish I would have thought of them! LOL

I cant believe that you did either..LOL If these were reservations related to the physical limitations, then thats just Bullshit pardon my language here but there have been autistic boys that had more severe limitations and gone thru with no hitch. Seriously? You condone that? It sounds like it. Sounds like its ok if a boy has limitations that its ok to be treated this way. As a former or present Scout Master Im appalled by your lack of "heart" here. I think its appalling that anyone in a leadership that dedicates their time to helping others grow and helping to nurture, dont have one ounce of heart , compassion, or empathy. or why that person or persons would even want to be in that roll if they dont have those inner qualities to care enough to help. I pray thats not you. You say " From the bullying comments, it seems some resentment toward your son and/or your family goes back many years.".. My son joined this troop crossing over from cub scouts in the 6th grade along with his friends. We did not know any of these people EVER> So it cant go back many years. This guy right from the start picked my son out of them all. With no reason, no resentment. There cant be resentment.He didnt even know my son and only had maybe 10 interactions with him during the time he was in the troop. The last minute scrambling didnt come from my son. He started it about 9 months or so before his 18th birthday. He was 100% prepared. It was the lack of leadership he needed to guide him through and lots of "hand sitting" on the troops part. Im sure a ECOH is a lot of work. Im not new to getting into the trenches with putting events together. And so what if it is? I am currently working with a Council member to help guide me through it.

No. When I said “Yes, I did, and proud that I did”. I meant that for the den leader position. My son went to camp to get the swimming badge done and could not do the endurance of it so alternatively he did the hiking. We found a great meet up group that does hiking regularly and it was slow paced so my son could complete it and he did. Yes everything is complete. he was awarded eagle

nope, I never said we reported it. My son did not want to go to another troop. All his friends since elementary school were in that troop. I can clearly see why he didnt want to go to another troop. He also was very friendly with some of the leaders. When my son confided in one, they just told him "who Doug"... ahhh, Hes going through a tough time.... I didnt subject him to it. It was there. My son didnt want to leave for the reason I just mentioned. The others didnt want to for the same reason. It may not smell right but thats the reasons why we stayed.

Website found..lol http://bsatroop354.com/

Thank you... found the site: http://bsatroop354.com/ Took a look around.. seems they havent updated it much

Yes I most certainly did.. And proud that I did. He was bullied by this one guy. Infact this one guy that has been the discussion of this whole thread..lol, there was one incident that comes to mind, my son me and my husband ( which BTW was the first time my husband even laid eyes on him) we had to walk up to a small group of the leaders to clarify info about Yawgoog camp, .... Well holy taledo, my husband. was about to ask one of the leaders about something and Bam... This guy out of no where gave my husband a look of death and screamed "NO".... Now in this text its difficult to explain so Imagine this.... A meeting about Camp. After the meeting, various parents were wanting to have questions asked. Once we were able to get our turn, and ask whatever question it was. I think it was about the netting or something trivial, he immediately shot a death look at my husband with eyes wide open, red face and yelled NO!!. My very passive low key husband was like, " WTH!! Whats this guys problem. Well the rest is mute at this point. This is just one small incident out of many. Another incident was when it concerned my sons paperwork. We dropped my son off at his SM house so they could complete it. There was something that needed to be printed and the SM wanted me to go home and get it for him. Well, me and my husband, while the SM and this guy were standing in the driveway, got out of the car walked up to SM and this guy to ask and clarify exactly what the sm wanted, and again this guy was out right rude and baligerant. << excuse the spelling. Thats just a few incidences that I have had to endure with this guy. As for my son, he has been bullied by kids on the bus and at school, so my son has created a armor for himself against it and just shrungs it off. He has told me many times how this guy has picked on him for not being able to swim and do that endurance badge for eagle. as one example. It has been a while since I was Den leader. And My son did not want to confront the matter and just let it go because he felt that because this guy was on the board for decision for Eagle, he didnt want to shake things up and get denied eagle because of it. Hope that made sense. But Alas. He got eagle. In fact the SM said that there was one guy (we know of course who that one guy is) that really didnt want to say yes to eagle but did because he didnt want to have to go in front of the board or something and say why. With that said, Here we are. Eagle but now denied ECOH... Yup.. its for sure this guy. Hes the committee chair. I hope that long story covered the holes for you.

Exactly right. the SM emailed me this morning but I havent had the opportunity to read it yet. We will see what he says.

oh my gosh, I have no idea how I would find out that info. The troop number is 354. Thank you so much!

Yup, I found all of that info on the BSA site so Im good there. I just dont know how to put in that letter that goes out to the POTUS and such. What to say? theres got to be an example somewhere. I know where we can do it for free so Im good there too. Youre right. it is their problem. I only pray they find whatever it is they are looking for. The traditional script would be great. Thank you. My email is: TheHomeCareerNetwork@gmail.com I dont know how to use the personal message system.

Heres the whole story That I replied to another poster.... Heres the back story you desire. This is what I know... When my son crossed over into Boy scouts, he had been bullied by this man. a leader and committee chair and council member... Why? Who knows. We never met this guy before. Apparently he had it out for certain boys. Who knows why? clueless. But my son was respectful and everyone loved him. The Smaller boys in the troop especially loved my son and looked up to him. Finally me and a few other mothers came to the conclusion that he mustve been bullied himself or was the bully in his younger years and as long as our sons knew that they were better than that, we kinda just ... well I cant say we ignored it but we never confronted him about it. I mean this guy is down right nasty. Finally, several of those boys quit because of this man. My son stayed. Said that he came this far and hes not a quitter. Proud of my son for sticking it out. Well one day came along... something we both tried never to do but... during the time when my son was still working on eagle, it was a frustrating time for my son because the guidance he was promised through this was not given... Then... drum roll, it came time for my son to have to ask this man of all people, how this process could be sped up. It was a simple question. It came in the form of "we" meaning all of us. How could we speed up the process. He didnt get an answer, Then I emailed just one simple question. The same question. A simple answer wouldve sufficed. yes or no. Nope! Holy cow!! This guy came back yelling and freaking out about how hard he works in the troop blah blah blah. We were taken by this. Like, What? really? All we did was ask a simple question and this bully guy flew clear off the handle! the SM said, "You know, he makes the decisions for Eagle and COH" I said, so? We asked a simple question and he just starts yelling and screaming flipping out like he was going to cry. Seriously! Im still to this day flabbergasted about it. Although I have forgotten about it. So, with that said... I didnt think In had to tell everything like that because really, bullying would have sufficed..lol In anycase, I am positive that this bully guy decided against the ECOH. Which is crazy because he did push my son through. Can we say"manic depressive" maybe? lol Now for the COH being of the family. This troop has always hosted a ECOH for every single Eagle and there has been many. Basically it is the familys discretion to have food or whatever and its always held at the chartering organization: the elks club and of course who they are going to invite. The troop plans it and gets the letters out to POTUS, governor etc etc. They plan the date etc. For instance, my sons friends mom who got eagle, the troop planned for DEcember but The mom said no and that it had to be before college. So I know the troop here does most of the planning and invites for most everything.

I suppose it was. My son handed in the paperwork all signed as the troop is very good and meticulous about this part... and handed in the day of his 18th birthday. The EBOR was in October. My sons 18th birthday is June 9th 2017. and just recently was given the card and certificate in a plastic shopping bag like the ones you use for garbage.

Yup, Im in process of doing that actually. Spoke with a great guy named Jeff Stern. Hes a District Chairman. Have spoken with Robert Rabbitt. Hes a Senior District Executive. Been looking at the site for the next meeting but I dont see anything until aug 16th a roundtable BBQ. The site is: https://www.sccbsa.org/bt I would love to go and ask that very question.

Yup Hey MattR. I did.. I responded to it. Yes my Son had the BOR. He gave in the paperwork right on his 18th birthday. The Troop took forever in doing the BOR. check, check, and check.. yes all was done and submitted to council. yes it was sent to national. Just a week ago the SM gave him the card and certificate in a plastic shopping bag.

Ok thats cool. How was that letter worded? Can you share that with me? This is what I know... When my son crossed over into Boy scouts, he had been bullied by this man. a leader and committee chair and council member... Why? Who knows. We never met this guy before. Apparently he had it out for certain boys. Who knows why? clueless. But my son was respectful and everyone loved him. The Smaller boys in the troop especially loved my son and looked up to him. Finally me and a few other mothers came to the conclusion that he mustve been bullied himself or was the bully in his younger years and as long as our sons knew that they were better than that, we kinda just ... well I cant say we ignored it but we never confronted him about it. I mean this guy is down right nasty. Finally, several of those boys quit because of this man. My son stayed. Said that he came this far and hes not a quitter. Proud of my son for sticking it out. Well one day came along... something we both tried never to do but... during the time when my son was still working on eagle, it was a frustrating time for my son because the guidance he was promised through this was not given... Then... drum roll, it came time for my son to have to ask this man of all people, how this process could be sped up. It was a simple question. It came in the form of "we" meaning all of us. How could we speed up the process. He didnt get an answer, Then I emailed just one simple question. The same question. A simple answer wouldve sufficed. yes or no. Nope! Holy cow!! This guy came back yelling and freaking out about how hard he works in the troop blah blah blah. We were taken by this. Like, What? really? All we did was ask a simple question and this bully guy flew clear off the handle! the SM said, "You know, he makes the decisions for Eagle and COH" I said, so? We asked a simple question and he just starts yelling and screaming flipping out like he was going to cry. Seriously! Im still to this day flabbergasted about it. Although I have forgotten about it. So, with that said... I didnt think In had to tell everything like that because really, bullying would have sufficed..lol In anycase, I am positive that this bully guy decided against the ECOH. Which is crazy because he did push my son through. Can we say"manic depressive" maybe? lol

Thank you. But if you have witnessed the bullying from this man and the direct insults from him as well, you'll probably say the same. and BTW, I called him that one time in the thread and it was to your response.Im not sure what holes youre talking about. Unless you want a storybook and if so I'll be glad to give it to you. It starts from when my son started in the troop by this uh um... man... bullying him. Hes had it out for my son since day one. Why? Who the heck knows. We never knew him before. Looks like the proverbial "dog has his day" kinda thing. Really very disgusting how a bully can just get away with this sorta thing. Thats what he is... a bully.