UncleP

I just wanted to thank everyone for their assistance. My plan is to - a. Help financially with the costs, b. Encourage him when he wants to quit, and c. Let him do the rest himself. He gets counseling, but I am not his parent or guardian, so I have no idea how it goes. I do feel much more confident that scouting will be good for my nephew, and that I can do the right thing to help him along. Happy Memorial Day to everyone

Thank your for your response and your kind words. I am going to do whatever I can to support my nephew. I am not a parent myself, but it has always amazed me how some people treat their kids. As I said before my nephew is the one pushing the Eagle rank, because he hopes it will make a positive change in his life. I support him, but tell him that being happy and healthy is the most important thing. I even once joked with him that if he wants to get back with parents and older sister, he should relax and enjoy as much as possible. The sight of it would drive them crazy. However, he is always just so tense.

Thank you for your response. The leadership and "Patrol Method" is something I think my nephew will have problems with. He is a total loner, and very bright but solitary. I think being outdoors though may spark something positive in him. He loves animals and likes open spaces. I personally could never understand the cult of "leadership" thing. I worked for and with many organizations, and they more they talk about leadership, the worse the organization performs. From my experiences the nature of work is changing so much, that "leadership" is kind of obsolete. But maybe something will spark in my nephew - still waters run deep.

Thank you for your response. Some of your comments were scarily prescient. I think to a certain extent my nephew is already lost to my sister and her husband, and its their fault not his. As for his older sister, a cousin of mine said almost the exact same thing about her having no limits. I do not like to be too judgmental, because show is still young. I think my nephew inside knows that he will never please his parents, but just cannot admit it.

Thank you for your response. I am going to encourage my nephew to take a one day at a time view of his scouting experience. I think part of the problem is that he has so little in his life, that he feels that he has to "milk" every experience for all he can get.

Thank you again for your response. I will take the advise that you and others have been kind enough to give, and tell my nephew that planning everything out will only make things worse. The problem is he is so intense, and his life has been so limited that he does not know how to enjoy himself.

Thank you for your response, and the input about the merit badges that I did not understand. You made some very good suggestions. I have already told my nephew that I will buy he uniform and books he needs, that way his mother cannot complain about "spending all that money". A job is difficult because his parents only want him to go to school and be quiet. Also, whenever he gets any money his old sister either steals it, or his mother makes him spend it on her to show how much he "appreciates all she has done for him". Unfortunately, the only friends my nephew has are his dog and his computer. That is why I want him to be in a situation where he can work on his social skills. I will do whatever I can to support him, while trying to guard against dong too much.

Thank you for your response. Your son sounds like an outstanding young man, and hopeful my nephew will meet someone like him in scouts. I was just concerned about all the schoolwork merit badges, because I think that is what my nephew needs to get away from (books, computers, TV...) and into the real world.

Thank you for your response (honestly). I appreciate the point that you were trying to make, and as I said in my response above, my nephew is the one pushing it. To be honest, I do not know if scouting is even right for him, and he does not need anymore bad experiences. He is academically brilliant, and does not really need to get three different badges in citizenship(?). All he does is school work right now. My nephew is trying to do a good thing, improve his lot in life by doing something constructive. I sincerely believe that scouting is a worthwhile endeavor, but I am not certain it is right for him. In my opinion, what he needs is 1) good memories, 2) better social skills (I am not even talking about friends just the ability to deal with people), and 3) an outlet for his energy rather than yard work to impress the marijuana scented neighbors. Scouting might provide that for some boys, but I do not know if it is right for him. But he wants to try it, and I just want to do what I can to help. I told him that just trying is a victory in itself, and not to expect too much from other people. PS - I am just curious, I wanted to know why so many merit badges for citizenship, family, communication....? I thought scouting was meant to be all camping, hiking, boating... I realize this may be an unfair question or one that has an answer to complicated to discuss.

Thank you for your response. I understand completely your concern about me doing to much for my nephew. I have always been "overly proactive", and the hardest thing for me to do is nothing. Regarding your question, my nephew is the one pushing this. He is a very intense and obsessive-type. His family is definitely NOT pushing it. They never give him any time or attention. His mother and father split their time between complaining, self-pity and worrying about what other people might think. Any time or energy they have goes exclusively to his older sister. He is just there to mow lawns and do yard work, so the neighbors will be impressed. If anything they are against it. His father is worried that he will make too much noise, and disturb his endless series of naps. His mother is concerned about "all the money it will costs". I think my nephew hopes that by accomplishing something out of the ordinary, maybe he will finally get some respect, some attention. Naturally, he wants to do this as fast as possible. The purpose behind my thinking was to slow him down, not speed him up. I want ,my nephew to add good memories, and not more bad memories. I am afraid if he tries things his way he will have another disappointment.

My nephew wants to be a Boy Scout and earn the rank of Eagle.​ I told him that he should just relax and enjoy himself, but he is very intense. I was never an Boy Scout, but I am good at planning and have research the required merit badges for Eagle Rank (I know their are other requirements, but right now the involve so many variables that you cannot plan for them). I know no plan survives contact with reality, so I wanted to get some input from people with real world experience. The goal is for him to make Eagle Rank by about the beginning of high school. That would allow about four years, and get it accomplished before his life starts to open up in high school. The following is my proposed plan, and I would appreciate any feedback on it. I have some concerns, because my nephew takes after me and is a bit of a nerd. I do not know if scouting is right for him specifically, but I definitely think he should try if he wants to. PROPOSED PLAN: Year One: Scout to First Class - my thought is to try and "kill two birds with one stone", but working on badges that will also help him make rank advancement: - Swimming - First Aid - Oreintering (I am not sure about this one), and - 1-2 merit badges that he will enjoy and will help make the requirement for non-Eagle merit badges Year Two: First Class to Star - Camping , - Cooking The idea is that if he has been participating in monthly outings, he will naturally make some progress on these badges - Citizenship in the Community - I have ben told that this merit badge is like getting a tooth drilled, so get it over with and have a sense of accomplishment - 2-3 merit badges he will enjoy Year Three: Star to Life - this is the year that worries me the most - Citizenship in the nation, - Citizenship in the World, - Communications, - Personal Fitness, - Personal Development, and - Family Life The last three require 90 days, so I did not want to leave them to the end. Year Four: Life to Eagle - Environmental Science or Sustainability, and - Emergency Preparedness or Lifesaving I have read that if Environmental Science is chosen that he should do it at summer camp for a better experience. I am assuming that this year will be taken up mostly by the Eagle Project, so he will only be able to work on limited number of badges. So what does everyone think? Good plan? Bad plan? Too ambitious? Not ambitious enough? I would appreciate any feedback. Thank you