O'Scouter

Basementdweller, I am just curious, whereabouts in the country are you located? No judgement, I am just wondering for the sake of understanding perspectives. We moved across country almost 8 years ago and we are still kind of dealing with culture shock, even though we are almost able to understand wait staff in restaurants now.

In this case it was a couple of years ago, and this person is not in his 20s. In other words, old enough to know better.

I did decide to speak with our ASE, since I know him well. I told him what I know and how I know it and what my concerns were. He took it onboard and said that he would find a time to put it out there with the scoutmaster. By the sounds of it, I am not the first person to come forward with concerns. He didn't say anything specifically but his knowing "yeah" when I explained who I was calling about said it all. We have had so many issues in our council with theft of scout funds, ASMs coming to campouts drunk, car accidents with ASMs hauling boys under the influence of narcotics (prescribed, but nonetheless). Some things cannot be legislated away but frankly, I only allow my boys to ride with certain individuals, and were I new to the group I would hope someone would be looking out for the best interests of my boys. It's a tough situation, because nobody wants to be that busybody but when you see that train bearing down..it's hard not to pull a kid from the tracks. It is that significant in my mind, and I would never forgive myself if I didn't say something. Scouting isn't a place to volunteer for a cheap vacation. I'd rather be wrong here, and hopefully I am. This guy needs to be watched.

I am fairly new to the forum, but I have brought a son from tiger to eagle and I think I have seen it all, from leaders ogling teen girls in bikinis at scout functions, to the full knowledge of the affairs going on at OA functions. Nobody is perfect, but really how can we expect boys to do right when they see us doing wrong? This is a volunteer run organization, and I have seen well liked (by adults) volunteers get away with some pretty awful behavior. Regarding smoking, I would hope that folks in uniform keep it discreet in front of the kids. We ask parents to avoid smoking in plain view if possible and provide an area with chairs and cover outside for them to use. Since I once overheard a scout say "it's not rape if she starts to like it halfway through" I would think the sexist/tasteless comments should be kept on a tight rein, since these are adolescent/teen boys who tend toward the vulgar and disrespectful anyway. I think the shirts were probably not appropriate in this circumstance and I think it would be good to suggest that. I agree that the cause and the volunteerism was meant well, but let's be honest, the term 'rack' in that context has never been meant respectfully. Not scoutlike. So if there was recruiting, and it was a pseudo scout outing, I would certainly at least point out that it may be offensive. People who are jerks will bow up and those who are decent human beings will think about it. Just my two cents.

It is a good old boys club of the Boss Hogg variety. You really never know.

It seems very reasonable to me also, we had small dues for each meeting throughout the year.

My view of this person is based only on my own experience with him, and my sister in law is not disgruntled at all. It was a very short time before warning lights went off for us as a family. I fully agree that domestic relationships can have a host of problems that could easily not transfer in any way to someone being able to effectively volunteer. I have no wish to discredit this person, I just want the kids to be safe. I think I have a good basis to just quietly alert people to keep a watchful eye. I have no interest in slandering anyone. People can change. Any information I would share would be 100% provable and evidence based. I think both points of view are valid and I appreciate the conversation.

That's a good idea. Maybe just making the right people aware of it would at least make sure someone is keeping an eye on things. Thank you for the advice. Maybe a moderate approach is best.

I would most definitely never slander someone's name on hearsay. I think most of us who have been in scouting for awhile have had to deal with people we didn't want to deal with. I have evidence for the violence, it is significant in my mind. The DUI was a year before he joined the troop. If I thought this guy was trying to serve the community and was just a jerk, not dangerous I would mind my own business. It may be that I have no recourse..

I have some inside knowledge about a person volunteering in another troop. This guy has no boys in scouts, but he does have a son that he does not acknowledge or see. Not only that but this guy lost his license for a year just a couple years ago for dui, and takes multiple psychiatric medications for a slew of mental health issues, including benzos. I also know he has a history of violence toward several people none of whom went to the police. He is real trouble but the folks at this troop have no idea. I am frankly concerned over the safety of the kids involved, but I am not sure it is my place to get involved with people from a completely different troop. I really don't know how to handle this. What makes this even more complex is that I know all this because this guy was involved with my sister-in-law so whatever I might say could look like sour grapes, which it truly isn't. Should I mind my own business and wait for something to happen?