H2O

On the topic of the Bully using victimization to take the spot light off himself ...An apology to your shipmates is now public humiliation in front of your peers. A time out is also degrading....Forget that you put others at risk or damage occured. Loss of privledges is consider logical consequences in most cultures. In the world of the entitled child-this is very different because everything is negotiable in the home-and parents can even encourage this behavior because they feel these are good attributes.

Qwazse- Thank you so much for the advice on the letter. It makes the point. The incidents are not open for discussion. The adult leaders have reviewed situation. Its a take it or leave it scenario. Protects us-protects BSA, and keeps the matter confidential in all ways. I think we will simply tell other youth leaders those members are on a leave of absence, and will return on probationary status should they decide to continue in the Unit. You are right about past leaders of my youth. I was a kid who got a few 30 day suspensions-until I realized I would not get more responsibility if I continued on that path. I wanted to be there. When I couldn't participate I realized just how important the program was to me-my sense of well being-my friends-and adults who would often put up with more than parents ever would. The activities were challenging-exciting-took skill and dedication-and taught me about a most important thing-responsibility for the safety of others. I wanted the trust of the leaders. Thank you for giving me these ideas. its been a really tough 2 weeks and I want closure on this to move forward. I plan to share your ideas with our leadership. BTW-I'm a leader and also the COR. H2O

We-leaders, were also falsely accused of a variety of things by some of the youth who participated in this game. Thankful that there were at times up to 4 adults present, and that we had kept a log of every incident. In the future We will not even blink. Scout is sent home. No second chances-No negotiation. I am now working with leadership to write the letters to these boys parents. I've never had to do this before, and while I am still a bit shell shocked by the entire situation, I feel we have to take this stand. The repercussions from this incident have really shaken my faith in why I'm volunteering with BSA. I was a youth member, and received the highest Rank in Sea Scouting-Quartermaster-and have held a number of leadership positions with 2 units totaling over 25 years of service over the past 40 years. I've served as council aquatics comm chair-worked on camp waterfront acquisitions , risk assessment, created a 501c3 organization for our chartered partner, partnered with a local sailing club, and now have 26 youth and 8 leaders in a unit that is only 2 years old. But for the past 2 weeks I sit in my living room and realize that I will never feel the same way about scouting again. Any kid-at any time can accuse me of something that is false. Do I want to put my family and myself in this position ? Is there a target on my back because BSA has paid out countless dollars, and scheming parents see this as an opportunity? I've been a Jr. National coach and small boat instructor at our yacht club for over 15 years-And NEVER has this kind of craziness happened in their program. It saddens me to think that what we are doing as scout leaders is more behavior modification-dealing with kids who have underlying personality disorders, and feeling unprotected unless 4 other adults are with eye/earshot. I will say that our DE/SE has been there and been supportive. But moving past this may nto be in my bag of courage-and I really have to come to grips with the reality of this kind of exposure and liability.

Dear Group- We recently had a situation involving this game. We terminated one member-and there are other boys for which we plan to suspend for 2-3 months, and then require parent attendance for a probationary period to determine if the behavior will stop/improve. Extreme difficulty in that a recently appointed CC is parent of one of the boys. While preparing the evening meal-I returned to the cooking area and witness half of the boys running around with their hands covering themselves to protect. Immediately made them stop. at least half the boys walked away-refused to play-but several encouraged it-including youth leaders. We feel that a 2-3 month suspension is valid. The DE/SE knows because we mentioned several participants by name when we cc'd them on the removal of the one scout permanently. We also had issue of direct disobedience of leaders orders from some of these same boys, and since we are on the water-a sea scout ship-this sort of defiance can turn to very unsafe situations. We found the same boys sneaking to use their electronic devices-falling asleep on watches-disregarding safe seamanship and operating protocols, and simply not doing the jobs of ships operations for which the boat-the crew and the leaders safety depend.