Browniemom13

Ribbit-thank you for all of your points. And I would agree there are situations in which there would be problems with a parent that would certainly cause issues. And we considered this as a factor too before we acted. That is the main reason we insisted on speaking with the troop leader to see if this was the case. We even offered to speak to the mother to lay ground rules of sort, for her participation (no different than the rules we all expect to abide by...be on time, respectful, etc)....My thought was that if the leader does not like this mom, and this mom does not like the troop leader, but they both LOVE eachother's children (go figure), we should be able to work this out without hurting the little girl. I appreciate all that troop leaders do. I was ocokie mom for a very competitive troop and I know there's alot of work people don't really comprehend until they "serve". Again, we are hoping the girls and PARENTS of the troop will see a valuable lesson with all of this, and a healthy resolution will be reached. Thanks again for all the comments.

Well, myself and one other mother pulled our daughters from the troop. An e-mail went out to all parents in the troop asking them to speak to the leader and get the facts for themselves. The leader responded back to everyone that the child was not permitted to join the group, and that she didn't trust the other mother and the other mother did not trust her and she would not have the family in the group. The Principal of the school was notified by the mom who's daughter was not allowed to join. He is going to meet with the troop leader. Needless to say, he was appalled. Also the local GS council has been contacted. They too were stunned and are working through this. They said the troop leader can limit the number of girls, but they are definitely not allowed to pick and choose members. Our leader has made it clear that this is not a numbers issue, but an issue with the parent. Probably the greatest thing from this is the lesson learned by my daughter. The little girl that was not allowed in the group came up to my daughter and thanked her for not going to the meetings and not telling the whole school about it. My daughter realized at that point how much it meant to her friend that we atleast stood up and are doing the right thing. Thanks for all the advice.

Thanks for the comments. As far as sending out the e-mail, it was in reference to our first meeting, and it was known at that meeting that these two girls were wanting to join (one had attended). At that time, we did not realize that it was not open enrollment...our misunderstanding. But I also understand your point about keeping "troop" business, within troop members. As far as the assistant...I know from past experience she's saying exactly what she was told to say. We are trying to get the leader to call us back, as we really would like to speak to her too. Thanks for your other comments. I will contact our Service Unit Manager. Thank you again for taking the time to respond.

My daughter is a brownie troop and the parents are asked to lead one meeting/year. One of our parents (we'll call her Joan)led a meeting on community service and followed up the meeting with an e-mail to all the troops parents, as well as two potential members (they had told the girls they wanted to join, one actually attended the meeting). Joan was called by the asst leader of the troop and told that under no circumstances was she to e-mail the group or invite any new members. Joan was also told that one of the girls who wanted to join, was absolutely not allowed to join now or ever. After further discussions, it was made clear that the problem was with the "mother" of the black-balled girl, and not the child. I understand that a leader can limit the number of members in a troop, but can they pick and choose (basically inviting those they want to join and intentionally excluding others?). It sure does not seem like the "girl scout way" to me. We are trying to reach the leader to talk to her about it, but our option is to standby and support these actions, or leave. Our daughters love the brownies, and we are willing to start a new troop, but with all the paperwork and training, it may not be until next sememster that everything gets approved.... Any other suggestions on how to handle the situation? Is this normal?