I'd go a step farther and say that both of you being the head of both a Pack and a Troop is way WAY too much. I do understand that in a way it's easier for you and your husband to just take the whole show and run with it (you always have your co-leader right there to bounce ideas off of, etc.) But, it's not healthy for either you or for the Troop/Pack.
For one thing, it's a whole lot of work (I know because I'm in leadership for both our Pack and our Troop, and I certainly wouldn't consider doing it all single-handedly). For another, you miss out on huge amounts of valuable input from the other adults in each group. They're there not only to help share the burden but also to help present creative ideas. And, in the same way, they're available to identify problems and suggest solutions.
Finally, the other parents miss out on learning how to become leaders themselves. True, they might not be stepping up to the plate and volunteering by the droves -- but when it becomes necessary because the position is unfilled, they will. And, in the long run, if they all learn to depend on just you and your husband, what will happen to the Pack/Troop when you leave? Not only will the Troop not be boy-led, but the parents won't know how to be leaders, either.
Now, to answer your original question -- how to deal with women who try to take over the Troop: may I first ask, are your Troop meetings truly boy-led (is the SPL and Patrol Leaders doing the majority of the planning and the boys doing most of the speaking)? Are these two women (and the rest of you ASM's for that matter) trained? -- if not, encourage all adults attend training. Is JLT available through your Council? -- if so, then offer to have the Troop pay the way for any of the boys who want to attend!
Brenda
