This is my second year as a Den Leader. One of the boys that has been with our Pack all three years now, under my leadership for the last year and a half, stopped coming to Den and Pack meetings a few months ago. I communicate regularly with my Den parents (via texts, emails, and phone calls) to update them on meeting activities, achievement requirements, and so on. I have reached out to them numerous times over the past months and received no responses. I have mentioned it to our Cubmaster too and he has claimed ignorance.
Recently we had our Pinewood Derby and they dropped off a car they'd made at home with our Cubmaster the night before but did not attend. I was quite surprised to see that they had a car racing and I asked our Cubmaster if they told him whether or not they'd be starting to attend meetings again. He told me that they had decided to participate in some Pack events but would not be returning to the Den meetings. Apparently they have decided that I don't focus on the boys enough at the meetings. This is based on our very first meeting, which was for the parents and was an introduction to Scouting because we had four families join this year that were completely new to Scouts. I acknowledged ahead of time that it would be a parent-based meeting and was the only meeting parents were required to attend. Every other meeting has been straight out of the suggested meetings handbook. I am the only Leader of this Den; I have a few parents who attend meetings regularly and help out when they can but I don't even have an official Co-Leader. It has been very difficult to get volunteer participation this year. I don't have a choice to do anything BUT focus on the boys at the meetings! My Cubmaster has attended a few meetings to help out when he has been able and consequently has observed my leadership and says I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. He discussed this with the family and for whatever reason they just don't like me and won't attend Den meetings.
Given the amount of work I put into running the Den, I won't lie, it stings a little. I know you can't please everyone but it bothers me. It bothers me more that they are complaining yet refusing to help. As a volunteer-led organization, if you don't like something, the best way to fix it is to PARTICIPATE. I suspect I am preaching to the choir there though. I am trying to put my personal feelings aside as best I can but it's difficult. I also think it's incredibly unfair to the Scout - making a Derby car but not allowing him to attend to see it run? Refusing to allow him to participate in the Den meetings, where he would learn more about Scouting and build lasting relationships? He always got along with the other boys and they ask about him. He attended the last Pack meeting but the family wouldn't sit with the Den.
Now our Blue and Gold dinner is three weeks away, and they have approached the Cubmaster asking if there is still time for the boy to complete his requirements and earn his Bear badge at the dinner. To the best of our knowledge he hasn't completed any of the Achievements. Our Cubmaster is inclined to just let them do the work at home and if they report that they've completed it, he will grant the boy his badge. Typically at our Blue and Gold dinners the Den Leader awards the badges to all the boys in their Den but since they don't like me he would do this one award himself.
This seems wrong to me but I am not sure if I am letting my personal feelings cloud my judgment. Should a boy be able to participate in Scouting but refuse to attend their Den meetings? Do we have a policy on that? It seems to me like it goes against some of Scouting's core values. Am I wrong to take it as a personal slight, especially at the Blue and Gold, if I am to present all the Bear badges save one? Won't that seem strange and exclusive to everyone else in attendance? How do I explain that to my other Scouts when they ask why Scout X isn't getting his badge with the rest of our group? Should they be able to go 'over my head' to the Cubmaster to have all of their Achievements verified and basically cut the Den Leader out of their Scouting experience??
As much as it stings personally I do not wish to exclude this boy if he has a genuine interest in Scouting and has done the work, but again, it just seems like they are handling the situation in a very un-Scoutinglike manner. Our Cubmaster doesn't want any trouble and is inclined to just let them handle it however they want. I find it awkward and embarrassing, especially the thought of not presenting his award at the Blue and Gold (if he does indeed earn it). Is this the sort of thing that, as a Leader, I'm supposed to chalk up to "can't please everyone" and just let it go? Or do the Scouts have a policy on HOW Achievements are completed and Den attendance?
