Twitterpated

We didn't know about the den charges until after this had happened. Parents came to us wanting to know about their money. Only then was the committee aware of what was being charged. I will take the blame for allowing this person to bring her den to our pack. In all honesty, I believed her when she called us up wanting to leave one pack and come to ours because of how "that pack treated them". Looking BACK, I saw that it wasn't the packs' fault and this was a trend with her. Only after we had issues. Our pack never had problems specifically with her until the last six months and we did have a huge discussion about how she handled kicking a boy out back then. We discussed it among the committee, listened to her side and felt that she was being honest with us and just handled the situation poorly. She promised she overreacted and begged us to take her back as a den leader. I did address problems she had with the District even though it did not effect the pack at the time. I saw the trouble with the district and at the time was grateful everything was okay with the pack and her den. We had one serious problem six months ago and dealt with it. When she came to us in the beginning, I knew of her problems with another pack and believed her. (My bad.) Only recently when this other serious problem arose did we put it all together. Other people on our committee weren't necessarily aware of problems that didn't pertain to our pack. I didn't feel comfortable telling them the trouble she was brewing somewhere else for fear it would hurt the pack. I DID go to her and try find out what was going on and what could be done to help. I was "trying" to keep the trouble from coming to the pack. Looking back, none of us really knew the trouble brewing and only saw one episode in our pack before this last outburst. This outburst was just so over the top, there was no damage control to be done. I'm sure I could have handled it better, but to be honest, I felt her heart was in the right place and wanted her to be successful as a leader and probably gave her too much of the benefit of the doubt. I made a fool of myself trying to work with her and even defending her at times. More than angry or shocked, I am hurt that someone could act this way. Especially in an organization such as scouts. I'm just a volunteer too and I have all of the training required of my position along with ten years as a committee member in scouting. Other than not trusting this person, I'm not really sure how I could have handled things differently. Some people are just going to hurt you no matter what you do.

The scout account was approx $130. It wasn't the money persay as it was her demanding it in exchange for the Eagle letters and since we had decided as a committee not to just cut a check to a scout when he leaves. It went through all of the avenues suggested above and it came down to the District and CO telling us to do what we feel is necessary. We felt that paying her the account to get the boy's letters back was the way to end this once and for all. We have learned and will not let it happen again. But, it was a painful lesson.

I didn't hear much from the parents that are still in the den, but we did have several boys quit because of the amount of the dues. I didn't know this until after they had quit and was calling the families to find out what happened. (I call the boys' families periodically to check on them and see if they have any concern.) I hadn't realized they had quit until the leader told me. I called the families and they told me they quit because of the high costs. I was able to keep one family by transferring them to another den, but I know we lost at least four families over the course of two years because of the cost from her den. I don't think the parents so much had a problem with how much they paid because she did provide an ACTIVE program. Homework every week, homework every summer, field trips at least twice a month, etc... They are upset because they have seen how she acted this past month and that she says there are not any den supplies (not one crayon, nothing) and that she is still trying to collect $15/scout for April, when she quit the beginning of April. I don't doubt for a second she spent her own money on her den at times. My husband and I have put out money before as well. But, we have a tote full of supplies and if were to ever leave, we believe those belong to the den. I think it is more about her behavior and her trying to still collect money that angers the parents. A lot of times we don't find out that the parents have a problem in a den until they quit or something like this happens. Either they are afraid of saying something to someone outside of the den (Committee member) or think they should just keep quiet since that person is volunteering to help their child. By the time we do find out there is a problem, it has grown to huge proportions. Which is a lot of what happened here. We, the Committee, didn't even know she was charging that much until families started quitting and told us. I don't think she stole the money or went shopping with it, but I do believe she has justified it in her mind to keep all of the supplies. It isn't the actual supplies that are a problem, it is the point someone would be so squirrely with them. And with turning in receipts for reimbursement for supplies she is keeping. Time will heal this situation. We have paid her and she is gone. I will never understand why she blew up so quickly and vehemently. There was obviously a storm brewing a LONG TIME. The fallout was great though. Hopefully since it is close to the summer, that time will heal hard feelings with the den parents.

Sorry, I don't know how to quote or refer to another post on here so I put it in brackets. Believe me, I thought about calling the police. But, it was already a horrible situation that was just getting ridiculous. All of the District people and CO were involved, but it came down to just doing what it took to resolve this situation. I don't know if we could have really pressed charges on her or not and for the most part, people (CO) didn't want to pursue it that far. Personally, I would have liked to have taken it further just because I feel that her behavior was so unlike what we teach the scouts. She ended up getting her way by blackmailing. It REALLY angers me, but there comes a time when you just have to suck it up and go on. Continuing to be angry about it didn't help the pack or the committee in moving forward. Live and learn, I guess.

Darn, I thought I was getting to do a District position because of my experience and wealth of knowledge! LOL I didn't know it was because I could BREATHE! j/k

We just recently had a situation where a den leader quit the pack and wants the money from her son's scout account. Our policy (which she voted on as well) was that we only transfer the money if the boy transfers to a pack/troop within one year of leaving the pack. She recently quit and was demanding the scout account money and would not release some of the other scout's items she had at her house until she was given the money. We literally had to have a exchange where we hand over the money and she would hand over a boy's scout items. It was pathetic that she used this boy to barter for money. We finally gave in though just to get this debacle behind us and not have the boy lose the momentoes. (Which could not have been purchased or replaced.) I'm worried now that the other parents know we gave into this person's demands that they think we set a precedence to writing out a check to any boy that leaves.

Hello all. I am new to the board, but not new to scouting. We have had a nightmarish situation with a now former den leader. Long story short, this person blew up, cussed a lot of people, yelled at the Pastor of our CO, kicked a boy out of her den because she was mad at the parent and held onto some momentos that were sent to one of her den boys from Eagles all over the country. She refused to give them back until her demands were met when she left. Her demands have been met and we finally received the letters last night. We ended up having to concede on some of her fraudulent (as in money not due to her) receipts just to get the letters back for the boy and to END this horrible situation. Now, our problem is that she charged her parents $15/MONTH for den dues and she wouldn't return so much as one crayon in den supplies. Their den is now left with nothing and no accountability as to what she did with all of the money. These parents want to know about all of the money they have paid. (This ex den leader is still saying that two parents owe her!) They have been paying all of this money each month for several years and there isn't one supply to show for it. Granted, the den leader did A LOT with the boys. She was a good leader as far as being active and enthusiastic. She "just" turned out to be someone that rages and is vindictive (against not only the parents but the BOYS). I have spoken with the parents and have tried to explain that there just isn't anything we can do about it. This person screwed us all in so many ways. We just had to give her the money she wanted to get the letters back so the scout would not be affected any further. They feel we should not have given her ANY reimbursements since she didn't return anything or show what she spent her den dues on. She was legitimately owed some money that she requested but the majority of the receipts were for items she never gave us and we didn't use as a pack, a receipt for money due to someone else, receipts for items going to her den and not the pack and would have been paid for with her den dues. Every receipt had something questionable on it. Including just a note saying she was due $X for X items, but no receipt or even where she purchased the items. Personally, I wish they would all confront her themselves. But, of course, most don't feel comfortable doing that considering her history of rage. This person has called up people in our pack lying about all of this, denying she did all of these things, even though we have witnesses, etc.. It is a terrible situation and I want it done. She has given our pack such a bad name from her behavior. My question is what do I tell my angry parents? Should the pack figure out a dollar amount and give it to the den? I am so frustrated with this situation and so hurt by the actions this person took. I am trying to be diplomatic and a good CC, but I am also just fed up and want people to know how she screwed us and the boys so badly!