SeaGull99

Dbie: Please finish reading the entire thread before passing judgment. We left the doctor's office, then drove directly across the street on our moped to fill the prescriptions. The pharmacist said it would be about a half hour before the medicine would be ready. So, we went next door to the Blockbuster to wait it out and get some movies since our cable box was on the blink. I don't know if you are familiar with the islands, but one doesn't just drive home and drive right back here. The pharmacy is a 30 minute drive one way down a two lane road which is the one and only road that circumnavigates our island. Gas prices on the islands are well above what you guys on the mainland pay. Plus, it was raining intermittently that night. I admit I didn't want to sit in an intermittent island downpour on the moped either, and I was well.

Good information, Neil. We always assumed that they were right to tell him he was ineligible to advance because he never has gotten to work with a Den or Pack. However, my son still has Den Chief beside his name in the records to this day.

My son earned most of those badges at some Scout camps he attended on the Mainland. He has attended two one-week long summer camps both summers of his Scouting career thus far. Neil: My son held the position of Den Chief during those months you questioned. He has been Patrol Leader, Assistant Patrol, and Den Chief. However, we had to get my son the Den Chief training out of our own pocket and on another island since it was not going to be offered on our island for about nine months. Although my son had the training, was accepted by the SM to do that position, and was recognized as a Den Chief at the next Court of Honor, after he was trained he never got to complete any work with a Pack or Den because the Cubs don't meet in the summer. So, my son was never actually able to "perform the duties of that position" so that he could earn credit toward advancement. So, when my boy asked the SM to be appointed to some other position, he was told that none were available other than Troop Guide, and that a Scout had to be 14 to be a Troop Guide.

When my son crossed over and became a Boy Scout, we always assumed that having limits on the number of participants for camp outs and such were normal and that every other troop was the same way. You guys changed that perception for me. It must be nice for all the boys that want to go on troop outings to be able to go. It took my son over two years to earn the camping merit badge because of the limitations on the number of camping participants and not being signed up in time to make the cut-off. I have never heard any mention of tents or equipment being a problem, but I have heard some discussion about needing more adults to be drivers and the like. Incidentally, we started with the new troop tonight....much better! We are staying positive. My boy is already going on a camp out this weekend with his new troop. Looks like the possibility of the island rains are going to wet them up though. :0) It will be a good experience anyway.

Backwoods: My son rarely misses a weekly meeting. The planning meeting for the backpacking trip was not a required meeting. In fact, you were only supposed to attend if you were going on the trip. My son wasn't going. There are limits on the number of boys that can attend each trip, so sometimes my son can't go due to those requirements. The troop has almost 60 boys, so camp outs are limited to the first 20-25 boys that sign up. Since the troop only has one camp out per month, my son (and most boys) don't go on every one, but certainly attending every other camp out is the norm for my son. I forgot to mention that my son has earned all of the Eagle required merit badges (he only has partials in Personal Mgmnt and Personal Fitness, but they are partials only because they require a specified time period to pass) already plus about 20 other non required badges too.(This message has been edited by SeaGull99)

Kathy: This is Hawaii, we were on our moped, so staying "in the car" wouldn't have been any better for my son than sitting on the moped. The video store is next door to the pharmacy. We went in the video store while the prescriptions were being filled. As I stated before, my son tried to speak to the SM about the training and was told that it would be discussed later. My son and a few of the other boys asked about a make-up training and the SM just stared them down and walked away. It is all irrelevant now anyway. We have left the troop.

I know you guys keep saying you are only hearing my side of the story, and that is fine since it is 100% true. But, stew on this for a minute: Last night the troop had a planning meeting for a camp out scheduled for this weekend. We weren't there because my son is not attending this camp out, but the SM started throwing.....yes, THROWING equipment and yelling at boys like a crazed man simply because the boys that were packing the trailer weren't doing it correctly (or to his standards). It seems too many other parents have had similar complaints to mine and all seven of the boys' parents that he publicly scolded have launched complaints that went unanswered as well. Needless to say, the SM has been asked to take a break from this camp out and possibly the troop (all the Asst SMs contacted all of the parents and boys by phone last night). As for us, we have decided to move on and have already started the process of transitioning into a different troop.

Tone and inflection are difficult to discern in the written word, therefore, one so inclined could read more into a statement than there really is. The SM wasn't busy when he was approached. He emails troop related emails almost daily, and has returned calls within a day as far back to almost two years ago as I can remember. I recognize that his ability to reply can be hampered by mitigating factors, but he flat out told my son that he saw his emails and would reply when he got good and ready to reply. He is big on exercising his power to the boys: The "I'm big, you're small" mentality. The first time he was approached by my son about all of this he was sitting on the back of his truck swinging his legs back and forth while whistling. He seemed pretty approachable and open to having a chat then. By the way, I haven't mentioned in all of this that my son has a disability and neither he nor my wife or I have EVER asked for any requirement to be modified or altered in any way. And we will never ask, so I have a lot of respect for my son to do things his way on his time. I also respect his wishes to fight his own battles, and he attempted that here, and he was stonewalled without explanation. Any kid, much less a kid with a known disability doesn't need that sort of rejection or treatment from a man that is supposed to care.

Lisabob: Thanks for the insight. Our CoH for Feb. isn't until the 23rd, so my son's timing wasn't/isn't a factor. In fact, I would not be supportive of a last minute attempt by my son to get a SM conference and a BOR completed on the night of a CoH. In fact, I don't really care if my son gets his Star this month or not. I just want an explanation, a reply, SOMETHING, etc.

Beavah: How can I be THAT parent if I haven't even been given the opportunity to address the issues because my/my son's calls and emails have gone unanswered for over a week? Also, this is not the first issue that we (and others in the troop) have had with said Scout leader, but it is the first issue that we are willing to go to bat for our son over. With all due respect, your opinion is respected, but not revered.

Scouter760: My son has held the PL position since September 2008. I do know the requirements for rank advancement, but only to the degree that they are listed online and in the Scout handbook (hence the reason I inquired as much on this forum). It was not my son's perception of the incident, I personally witnessed it. However, since I am not a Scout leader, I didn't know whether or not the fact that my son had not attended the training could actually keep him from advancing. Before I addressed it with the SM, I wanted to be well-informed. Bulldog: The SM will not answer the questions AT ALL. He was asked in person and via email twice, and he has said he will eventually respond, but "not right now". No, it does not have to be addressed this week. However, new elections will be held next week to take over next month and my son wants to participate in the elections. But, he does not want to be humiliated in front of his troop if the SM decides to say something about the training, my son's absence from training, etc. Beavah: It is ok to have trainings for positions. It is not OK to keep a boy back from a well-deserved advancement (my son has been a First Class Scout since March '08, so this matter is in no way related to the four month requirement of leadership to advance) for his failure to show up at training despite a valid excuse like a severe illness. My son has tried to handle it politely and privately, and he has been stonewalled and treated poorly.

Actually, I need to clarify. My son was denied a SM conference. Without having the SM conference first, my son can't schedule his BOR so that he can then be cleared to advance to Star rank (his book is signed off on everything but the SM conference and the BOR). The Court of Honor for Feb. is fast approaching and the SM will not answer our emails nor will he discuss it with my son. We are pretty sure he is delaying his SM conference so that my son doesn't get his rank at this month's Court of Honor. Plus, at the last meeting, he called out names of about 7 of the boys and asked them to stand up (my son was included in the t or so). When those boys stood up, he scolded them in front of the entire troop, with parents and visitors present. I understand the boys should be held responsible for their actions, especially those that just made the choice not to show up, but the SM didn't even acknowledge that perhaps some boys (like mine) had a legitimate excuse for missing the training. My son explained his circumstances only to be told that if he was well enough to watch movies then he was well enough to go to the training. By the way, an Asst SM is who turned my boy in to the SM, and that individual also happens to be our Troop's Committee Chair as well as a relative of the SM.

My son is the PL of a patrol in his troop. After the elections, the troop holds some sort of troop leadership training once a boy is elected to a position. The troop was supposed to hold this training in October but due to scheduling conflicts, it was put off until January. Right before the training my son was sent home from school due to illness (our doctor diagnosed him with the flu). So, obviously (to me anyway) I did not let him attend the training. The day of the training, we ran two errands--one to get medicine, and one to get movies since our cable box was on the blink. Turns out, we were seen running said errands while the training was going on, and my son was "turned in" to the SM for being absent. Now, (3 weeks later) the SM is denying my son his next rank advancement (Star) for not attending this meeting despite having the flu. The SM says if my son was well enough to watch movies then he was well enough to attend training. That isn't true. If my son would have shown up with the flu those adults/parents would have been furious! Who wants the flu? Can the SM deny rank for missing that meeting (we have a doctor's note and a school document that shows he missed 5 days of school)? If not, with whom do we file a complaint?