Salra

Dear Friends, Thanks so much for the support and heart-felt responses. We are already looking for another Troop. A friend of mine has tipped me off to a Troop in our town that is much smaller etc.etc. It might be more our speed. As my father-in-law, may he rest in peace, the retired CIA agent used to say, 'it's not a nice world'...I *have* pointed out to my son that if he doesn't like what he is hearing, he can get up and walk away. He was informed about the 'birds and the bees' years ago by me when he had a friend in the third grade who seemed far too sexually advanced for a child that age. At that time I decided to get pro-active and explain things to my kid so he wouldn't get mixed up by this neighbor's boy. He also, for the record, did not 'snitch'. We were having a conversation about this one very badly behaved scout we saw at the campout and my son was just trying to make a contribution to the conversation. Imagine our surprise when the words came out. Oh well time to move on and thanks again.

Thanks for all the feedback. Sometimes I feel like I have fallen down the rabbit hole in the town where we live now. We are from the East Coast but now live on the West Coast in a very affluent town in the Bay Area (SF). The kids here are incredibly spoiled and think they are entitled to everything and anything. I would be real happy if we got transferred back East again. This place is too fast for me and my family. By the way the Eagle Scout in question is on the honor roll at his HS, so he really can't go for the "I'm just a dumb kid who didn't know what he was doing" routine. When the dust settles down we may look at a few more troops, there are many here in the Twin Valley District but we are giving it a rest for the present. Thanks for the tip about that book "On My Honor" by Jay Mechling, I have already requested it from the library.

A possible meaningful response, take away the boy's leadership responsibilities and let him be a worker bee for awhile and no summer camp this summer. It may seem 'harsh' to some of you who belong to the 'oh this is just boys being boys' but I found it reprehensible. Sure teenagers may talk this way to one another but NOT to a new scout and certainly not at a scouting event. I didn't come home from this Scouting organized family campout to discuss what MILF and SILF means to my 5th grader (who had already been instructed by this Eagle Scout as to the meanings) acronyms that are too crude to be explained here but you can guess what the "F" stands for. I was also told at this meeting, oh your kid could hear this stuff anywhere. The point which seemed to escape all of them is 'not at Scouts'. What is that Eagle Pledge/Oath about any how or is it just meaningless blather and something that will look good on this lunkhead's college application?

Well the Rotten Eagle investigation came and went. It was truly a farce run by the troop's former Scoutmaster and father of the Eagle in question. The erstwhile Scoutmaster pretended to run the show and the Executive Committee Chairperson figurehead was there too. But it was the Dad who was running it while pretending to be there only as concerned parent. When he wasn't busy glaring daggers at me and my spouse, he was busy controlling his son and the conversation. Ugh, ugh and triple ugh. The scout did admit to the accusation, talking about sexual matters with a ten year old. If you'd like to know what MILF and SILF means go ahead and search it on the internet. We now know courtesy of this Scout. Believe me, my kid (the hapless 10 year old)did not in any way ask for this conversation. He and 2 other boys were on a Scout family campout and were searching for lizards when this Scout came by. My son was embarrassed and uncomfortable when it happened. One of the questions this Scout put to him was, "Do you have a sister, is she hot?" And that is only what my son would tell me about. Do your research and you will get the rest. The scout did write and read to us a very brief apology note. More nonsense, they must be training him to be a politician. It would have been better if he apologized without preparation that is much harder to do. Though he gets a few tiny points for showing up and doing the "apology".... What a revolting experience. At this meeting these parents cheerfully told us that our boy will hear much worse when he is at Scout Summer Camp etc. We are turned off to scouts forever. They completely minimized what the scout did and will not punish him within the Troop though the Dad claimed the boy wouldn't be getting his driver's license as soon as he thought he would. The Scoutmaster said that he would have this Eagle Scout run the Youth Protection Program (ha) whenever they can make time for it. I did manage to inform them that having a 15 year old discuss sex with a 10 year old is called sexual abuse in some parts of the world. The smarmy Dad oh so helpfuly told us that you know you could look for another Troop. Subtext, I hope I never see your faces again. Sorry folks this is kind of a rant. The only good part of it is I got my son out before he was corrupted by these senior scouts and that is truly a blessing.

An update on our 'situation'. The Eagle scout has acknowledged that the incident happened. Inappropriate talk about sex with 10/11 year olds for those of you who didn't read the beginning of this post. Now, what is the appropriate consquence for this older boy? It has also been bandied about that the Troop is too big (70+ boys or thereabouts). What can be done to be sure this doesn't happen again to any other younger boys. Thanks for everyone's input.

Thanks again for the information and opinions. I did not know that there are no age guidelines for becoming an Eagle other than it must be done before turning 18. I agree that sometimes the parents/leaders are pushing the boy along and ignoring some very important aspects of being an Eagle Scout. To wit the situation we are in right now. I had to laugh at the "17 years, 364 days and 18 hours old"! I know a friend's son who fell into that category. He made the deadline and his Service Project was designed, organized and executed by the young man himself with the help of other boys that he recruited. His parents weren't sure he was going to get it done but he did.

Well an investigation is underway. We will see if the boy owns up to it or denies it ever happened. What is your opinion on the age of when a boy should finish his Eagle? This boy in question is very young (14 or 15). I always thought Eagle was something you finished your senior year in High School or thereabouts. The joke around here is make sure they get their Eagle done before they get their driver's license or it will never get done. This boy is obviously very immature. I do agree that once you get your Eagle, much is expected of you.

My son's troop just had a family campout over the weekend. My boy is new to this troop, just bridged over from Webelos. I was very dismayed by some of the older boys' behavior on this campout. One scout (an Eagle no less) was very unpleasant. I observed him bullying boys, hit one kid on the back hard etc. Then I find out from my kid that this boy was talking to the younger boys (no adults were around when this happened) about as my kid put it "weird sex stuff". I am in the process of reporting it to the Scoutmaster. Opinions anyone? I don't want this Eagle scout anywhere near my kid in the future. I am pretty steamed at the moment, if the older boy lost his Eagle Badge over this it wouldn't bother me.