E- Hang in there.
Our oldest Eagle completed his BOR 3 weeks prior to his 18th birhday, but he had wanted to be an Eagle since he was 6 years old. The project never slowed him down, just some of the adult scouters who didn't always behave in a scoutly manner. But he EARNED his Eagle. Did we have the talk? many times, everything seemed to come back to "When are you going to get your Eagle done." His response always was, "I'll get it done." He did. Now he is in college and helps out the troop when he has time. He is also the only adult scouter we have who is an Eagle, and he wears his knot.
Our second Eagle, the son we never thought would be interested in doing an Eagle project, decided out of the blue this March to do his Eagle, presented the project, and started it and completed his BOR in July. Never once did we give this son the talk - he was smart enough not to let us ask that question of him, always telling us first, "I'm too young to do my Eagle and I have 5 more years." Surprise. I can't believe how much sod, dirt & woodchips can be moved by young teenage males, in a four week period. He is now free, no Eagle pressure hanging over him, he has been elected SPL and he is having a blast trying to make some changes to his Troop.
Our youngest scout is just 13, and has been a Life for a while (it helps when your older brothers have merit badges to finish and you get dragged along as the "second scout"- frequently he finished those merit badges before his older brothers did). Anyway, they asked him at his Life BOR when he was going to start his Eagle - his response "I'm not old enough." He has also stated he is not ready to lead a project. And surprisingly, he has said that he wants to wait until he can do a project that he feels is worthy of being an Eagle project. The scouts know who earns an Eagle and who just gets one handed to them. This child wants to earn his Eagle. I respect that.(I also know that my son doesn't want to be accused of not doing enough to earn an Eagle, we have another boy who is now a 13 yr old Eagle, his parents did his project, wrote the report and shoved it through, and it was approved by the CC, not by those of us on the board - in fact we rejected it) If our son chooses not to do his Eagle, the world will not end, there will be no shame. If he spends the next 5 years in scouting just learning to be a better scout, we will be very proud of him.
So, for your son, who feels that many of the scouts may not really "earn" their Eagle, remind your son that if he does a project that he knows is worthy of an Eagle project, he will have earned his Eagle and everyone who is important in his life will also know that and respect him. A good scout will earn his Eagle. OJ still has time, but as a parent, you and SWMBO know that time is slipping away. Have a talk with him, ask him what he needs from you, it may just be the moral support of having his folks there for him, whatever his decision. Eagles are hard to earn for a reason. If OJ were not your son, just another scout, what would you council him to think about? I think Eagles are hardest for parents to suffer through, we have to walk a very thin line on letting our children grow. Talk to him, this is important, help him find the direction he needs to make a decision. If he decides not to do his Eagle, you and your wife will know that you have done your best and will then be able to support his decision. And you will know he made the right decision for himself.
Good luck!