LadyJay

Tonight I attended my scout's regular patrol meeting. I have a couple of issues I would like to discuss. First a little background, my son is one of the younger scouts who just a few months ago bridged into scouting from cub scouts after earning his arrow of light after being in cubs since tigers. Today, one of the adults brought three small toys, nothing of significant value, to be given to the boys best in uniform. Question number 1, is this common? To me initially, I did not think this was a bad idea, as it would serve to encourage the scouts to wear his uniform to regular scout meetings in addition to court of honors, which we all know is sometimes difficult to do. However, the uniform inspection basically ended up with the senior patrol leader walking past the boys (no uniform inspection sheets were filled out) and picking his buddies, although it was obvious that other scouts were more correctly uniformed, yes my son was one of the most properly uniformed. When questioned, what about the other scouts made him choose them, the SPL said it was a hard choice. I again asked what was wrong with my scout's uniform so we could fix whatever needed fixing and he said, "Nothing. It was just a hard choice." So I replied, "He just isn't old enough then?" (Probably over-stepped my bounds) To which our SPL Eagle scout replied that he didn't have to be here and he could be like the other older scouts that don't come to meetings anymore (like we should be glad he is still here) and he didn't appreciate being told he was playing favorites (not his exact words but to that effect.) My scout also asked the same question of him early, to which the SPL responded, it was his posture but he would give him bonus points next time. Hmm... Just so you can be clear that I am not just a parent complaining about a close call during a uniform inspection, or should I say popularity contest. Only two scouts present had scout uniform pants on, (all three choosen wore jeans or kahki pants, mine had the new scout pants on.) Only one scout had on a scout hat, guess which one, yep mine. The only thing my scout did not have on was a neckercheif slide (due mainly to the fact that this is the first meeting he was allowed to wear the troop neckercheif, since he just earned it at last weeks court of honor, but it was tied neatly in a slipknot until we can get him a slide) and his merit badge sash (which it was my understanding should not be worn at regular meetings just special occasions, like court of honor.) I talked with the other parents present and they agreed that my scout was definitely the scout in best uniform. Even an adult leader agreed, but he just said I would have to talk to the SPL since it was his decision. My scout is very upset. He wants to impeach (his words) the SPL and wanted to call the SPL's dad (which I told him not to do right now while he is angry.) So I guess my final question is what do I do now? First with my scout, how can I get him to understand that although unfair that SPL did that, he should continue to do his best and wear his full uniform? Second, what steps, if any, should I or my scout do to prevent future incidents like this from happening? Thanks for reading and responsing to my post.

SeattlePioneer - This scout is not a "bad kid", he is however different. Until this incident at camp, we never saw him act up or be mean to anyone in the den. All - This is not a kid who is always making trouble, just a kid that never seem to fit in with the others. He has always been polite and attentive during other outings and events. Better behaved than some of the others. One of the adults said, if he doesn't fit in then what is he learning from cub scouting when he is always an outsider. I think this kid is probably an outsider at school and his home life is rough too. I just don't feel like it is appropriate action to kick him out on his first offense that was certainly not unprovoked.

As it stands, karate kids parents are the ones making a big deal out of it. So far the committee is only planning to boot the kid that nobody likes. One of the committee's reasoning is "What is he getting from being with boys that don't like him, don't want him there, and now are "afraid" of him."

We have a Webelos II Scout who is ADHD. He is on medication. His home life is rough by any standards. He lives with his mom , his dad is around sometimes when he is not in jail. His mother is unable to control him, he actually behaves better when she isn't around. The other boys in the den never really liked him when he joined. Once, one ever cheered that he was sick and not coming to the den meeting that week, which the den leader prompting informed them that it was not scout like and asked why he didn't like him. He answered he didn't know why. The plot thickens... We all went to Webelos Resident camp this summer and there was incident. It was hot (real hot) and no one had slept well the first night. During an event some of the boys started playing in the drinking water. I heard someone tell them to stop wasting the water. But before they did one of the scouts poured water on this kid (which I now know he had done too). What I saw when I turned around was one scout in a karate stance facing this kid and one complaining that this kid spit on him. I intervened and removed karate kid from the area. Then I notice still another boy holding his neck. I asked him what was wrong, he said this kid choked him, and he admitted to doing. While taking this kid to the the den leader and the other to his mother. This kid threatened to hit me with a stick. I told him I wasn't afraid of him, and he never did try to hit me. The den leader, mother, and I talked with these two and apologies were made. We had no furter incidents that day. The next morning when I awoke the mother of the scout told me that this kid had hit karate kid and spit at another boy. Now he was looking for something to hit them with. He returned with stick in hand and I hollered across to him, at which he dropped it and ran to his tent. I followed him, and I asked him what was going on. He told me that karate was cussing at him and calling him names and all he could think of was hitting him. I talked with him about getting adults when being teased before he made the problem worse by hitting. We had no furter problems for the rest of the weekend. When we returned we talked with the mom of this scout. I thought this was resolved until the parents of the karate kid approached me and den leader and asked if this kid will be coming back to which we said yes. Karate kids parents say he says he is scared to death of him. The committee is now deciding that we should kick him out for fighting. But I think the other kids are partly responsible, too, for verbally assaulting him and teasing him. They all made some bad choices during this incident. I feel like the committee is rushing into this for a first time offense that resulted in no injuries. And we should make this an opportunity to learn from thier mistakes and make better choices in the future. What do you guys think? Also there is some confusion over whom we should have reported this too? At the time? After? We talked to the parents of the scouts in the fight (one of which was there) and thought it was resolved but the committee said we should have made it a prority to inform them in case anyone asked about it. By the way, we don't have any written policy on this, they just decided after they found out about the fight.

We have a Webelos II Scout that sounds alot like the scout in the original post. He is ADHD, on meds, and comes from a single mother enviroment. His dad's in and out of thier life and jail. He never fit in with the other scouts in the den. We have 8 scouts in this den. We the adult leaders have heard all the things this scout has done from his mother. But we have never had any behavior problems out of him. Until... We all went to Webelos camp this summer and there was incident. It was hot (real hot) and the boys were playing with the water coolers, boys splashing water on each other, which they were told to stop. Next thing you know this kid is attacking another kid with his hands around his neck. Which I did not see, I turned around and saw another boy in a karate stances facing this kid. When I figured out the situation, I took him to the den leader, and the scout who had been choked to his mother. On the way, this kid told me he was going to hit me with a stick. He didn't. We had a talk with the scouts, applogies were made and those two were fine for the rest of the day. The next morning as I crawled out of my tent I was informed that there was a problem and this kid had hit, kick and spit on a couple of the boys and had went to look for something to hit one of them with. I found him and had a talk. The karate stance boy had decided to tease him and cuss at him. I resolved it and talked to him about getting an adult instead of hitting. After this we had no more problems at all. I thought this was resolved until the parents of the karate kid approached me and the other leader and asked if the kid will be coming back. To which we said yes. The committee is now deciding that we should kick him out for fighting. (And I feel like it's because nobody likes him anyway) My question then is what are we teaching the den if we kick him out? Many of them dont like him, teased and provoked him to which he responded with violence. He made a bad choice, so did most of the other scouts for teasing (verbal assault). I feel like the committee is rushing this for a first time offense and resulted in no injuries. I feel like we should make this an opportunity to learn from thier mistakes and make better choices in the future. What do you guys think? Also there is some confusion over whom we should have reported this too? At the time? After? We talked to the parents of the scouts in the fight (one of which was there) and thought it was resolved but the committee said we should have made it a prority to inform them in case anyone asked about it. By the way, we don't have any written policy on this, they just decided after they found out about the fight.

The Guide to Safe Scouting 2003 edition (http://www.usscouts.org/safety/g2ss.html) states in bold print the following: 4. Male and female leaders must have separate sleeping facilities. Married couples may share the same quarters if appropriate facilities are available. 5. Male and female youth participants will not share the same sleeping facility. So I believe that means married leaders okay, married participants not okay. I would check with your council, too.

What happens when his den is ready to crossover to Boy Scouts in a few years assuming he sticks to it. With the Age requirement of 10 now included in the Join Boy Scouts requirement will he be left behind while his friends join Boy Scouts?

We have a scout in our pack who as a Wolf cub in the second grade was about a year younger then normal (he just made the school district's cutoff date). He completed The wolf requirements and earned several arrow points. Over the summer his parents decided that is was in his best interests educationally to hold him back a grade. Now he doesn't meet the age or grade requirements for joining a Bear den, but has completed the Wolf program. Where should this scout continue as a cub scout? I feel like he may be bored to repeat the same requirements for Wolf, (and where would that patch go?) along with the fact that he has to make new friends with his classmates and has already formed friendships with his cubmates. I have looked repeatedly for information where this has happened before and what to do, but I can't find anything. Certainly cub scouts have been held back or skipped a grade before. Any ideas?