Joe MacDoaks

On Labor day my sons troop put out American flags in our town. We got done early in the morning and one of the leaders suggested that we take the boys that showed canoeing on a local river. We decided that this was a good idea so we let everyone go home and ask their parents if they could go and we met at the river at 1PM ready to go. One parent asked about a week later why their son wasn''t invited and I told her that this was a spur of the moment decision and that we only asked the boys that had come to flags in the morning to go. I explained that we have two canoe activities planned in the next month and that he could go on those. She insists that her son should be called for all activities. I reminded her that he had been called for flags and that he failed to show up. I told her that you can''t pick and choose to only go to the fun activities. She doesn''t seem to like my answer. Am I wrong, should I have offered the same invitation to the boys that didn''t show up that was offered to the ones that did?

These boys come from a good family. Professional Father and a stay at home Mom. Grandparents are active in the family and I go to church with all of them. Father is an ASM and often goes camping with us. Father is perplexed by boys not getting along. Grandmother told me she can't understand why they don't get along. Both boys are patrol leaders. I have talked to SPL and he doesn't know what to do. Boys find fault with the other boy and then tell you how you should give the other one extra stuff to do. We only have one troop in our county so it's not practical to have one boy in another troop.

I have three brothers in my troop. The yougest and the oldest brothers just can't get along, they are only two years apart in age. They are always fighting and arguing and comming to me to solve whatever problem they have with each other. Does anyone else have this problem and what can be done about it? What I am planning on doing is talking to each of them and telling them that whatever problems they have with each other are family problems and not mine to solve. They have to solve there own family issues. If they are not physically hurting each other I am not going to intervene. I am also not going to sign off the Scout Spirit requirement for any more advancements until they can get along. I am also thinking about having them share a tent at summer camp. I have never told a boy who he would share a tent with but these two boys need to learn to get along.

For a weekend camp out what troop equipment do you take. My sons troop takes a fully loaded scout trailer. In the trailer they have 20 fire buckets, a large muti burner gas stove they never use, all of the troop tents, cots for each boy, two large dining flies, two large chuck boxes, several large pots for various uses, three plastic totes full of enamel plates bowl cups coffee pots food prep items, three more totes full of other stuff, and a large collection of cast iron, dutch ovens frying pans and a large griddle. They also take several other items they never use. I think that they spend two much time setting up camp and taking camp down. They also spend a lot of time looking around in the trailer in boxes they don't use. I would like to see the boys do more cooking on their own and be more responsible for bringing their own stuff. What does your troop bring for troop equipment?

I have pretty much figured out most of the stuff you guys have recommended on my own. I know several people who are not active in scouts because of the current SM. He is very controlling. He doesn't have a single MB counsellor signed up in our town besides himself. I have asked him for the last four years to get me the paperwork so that I could sign up and he hasn't done it. He is well thought of in the community by people that aren't involved in scouts. The commitee and some parents know that he is not running a by the book program. I have three fathers that are willing to help as ASM's once the old SM is gone. The CC wants the troop to be boy led. We have a couple of older Eagles in the community that want to see a real boy led troop and they are willing to step up to see that. I just need to wait him out and hope he doesn't try to stay to involved in scouts when he retires. I am worried that he will try. He works out of town and is gone a lot. Hopefully we will get through the transition before our next summer camp in July.

Our CO will often pay our leader fees for campouts and training. If we go on a big outing like Jamboree or to Philmont leaders cover their own fees. If leaders work at fund raisers like suppers or car washes they get a share of the money for their "account". Most of the people in our community understand that it is a big commitment to be a leader and that you can't expect every leader to pay for everything. That being said, I paid for a boy to go to camp last year because his family didn't have the money.

The Scoutmaster of my sons troop will be retiring soon and I will be taking over as Scoutmaster. I am currently serving as an ASM. I am working on getting my Scoutmaster training out of the way and should have it done before next summer when I am scheduled to take over. Our Scoutmaster likes to say that his troop is boy led but he doesnt run it by the book. He picks his SPL because he has to have someone "He can work with". He buys all of the food for camp outs and the boys eat as a troop. The patrols do very little on their own. He plans all of the outings, where the troop camps and what they are going to do on that camp out. I just found this out recently, he has signed off merit badges that he is not a registered counselor for and now he is going to sign off stuff in my sons book that I know my son hasnt done. He likes to talk about all of the Eagle Scouts he has had over the years but, I am sure that none of them are close to really meeting the requirements for Eagle. I mentioned all of this to our CC and he just wants to wait until the present Scoutmaster retires. This Scoutmaster is well respected at the Council, he is a Silver Beaver. Its not an option to move to another troop, this is the only troop in the county we live in and the two nearest troops are in different councils. My inclination is to try to get the current Scoutmaster to try to make the troop more boy led, he is set in his ways and I dont think he will do this, and then to change to a boy led troop when I take over. I also want to make sure that my son gets everything in his book done even if it is signed off already. Does anyone have any experience with a situation like this and what was the outcome? I was only in scouts for a couple of years when I was a boy but, I was lucky enough to be in a boy led troop and it is and experience that has stayed with me for long time. I would like to let my son and the boys in his troop have the same experience.

John, I understand what you are saying about how we shouldn't plan for kids to fail but, I also understand that scouts isn't for everyone and some kids will drop out. I know these kids pretty well and I know that the two kids that are the hardest on my son hate to come in second. When we get back from summer camp and they see how far behind they are they will be very upset. One of these kids is a spoiled only son, he gets very frustrated if he doesn't get his way. The other kid is the only one in my Webelos den that didn't get the arrow of light. He blew off two campouts I set up with the Boy Scout Troop for his final requirement. I refused to set up a third campout, the second one was just for him and he didn't show up or call. He told me a day before the campout that he would be there and he didn't show up. He almost refused to cross over because he didn't get the arrow of light. I have talked to both of these kids parents to keep them in scouting and I tried to get them to go to camp. I had raised enough money for all of my scouts to go to camp for free but, they decided they didn't want to go. At some point I am going to get tired of keeping a kid in scouts that doesn't want to be there. I am not planing on them failing but, I can see them dropping out.

I have not completed any SM training but I am fully trained as a Cub Leader. I am filling in as an ASM during the summer and I am going to Camp. At camp I will take outdoor leader training and I will get most of the indoor training during the year. We have one other ASM, the SM's adult son, he is also an Eagle. Several parents are partially trained and act as ASM's or Cub leaders with sons in the pack and the troop fill in as ASM's at times. My son probably gets picked on by his peers because he is a year younger than most of his peers and a little more imature. He is also small for his age and not very athletic. He has a very good attitude and he doesn't complain about the other kids picking on him. My son being picked on concerns me and the wife more than it does our son. The older Scouts in the Troop like my son, he went on several Boy Scout Campouts with me as a Webelo when I went along to provide two deep leadership. He listens to the older Scouts and he knows what to do. Our SM will stop bullying if he sees it. My son won't complain about it so the SM has to see it. I am more concerned about how I would have to handle discipline / bullying when the object of the bullying is my son. I am also worried about people making negative comments about my son advancing faster than some other boys since I have heard comments about his advancement when he was a Webelo. Right now I don't have to sign his book but as the SM in a small troop it would be difficult to never sign his book. I wouldn't want to hold up advancements because I wouldn't do something for my son that I would do for another boy. My son will probably advance fast since he is more interested in scouts than in sports. Most of the other boys are more interested in sports. The boys that bully my son the most are not going to summer camp and I am sure that my son will make first class before they make tenderfoot. That may solve all of my problems. Those boys may drop out if they fall behind.

I was asked by the SM, CM, and the CO to take the SM job. While I was a Cub Leader I did two groups every year. My kids sold the most popcorn and had a good time. I also encouraged us to spend more on the kids and the Cub Program has improved during my time as a Cub Leader. Our SM says that the kids he has gotten from Webelos have been the most prepared kids he has ever had. Eight of the eleven kids that I had as webelos have earned the arrow of light, and I mean earned it. I have also been kind of a bridge between the CM and the SM who don't get along. I enjoy working with the kids but, I get a little tired of their attitudes also.

I have been a Cub leader for the last three years and I have been asked to be the new SM for the troop that my son is in. My son is in school with most of the kids in his patrol. My son is youger than most of the kids he crossed over with, many people in our area hold boys back a year for sports. Some of the kids in his patrol don't treat my son well, they make fun of him and they act like sharing a tent with him is a punishment. When I was my sons Webelos leader many parents would ask me why my son got more pins than their kids, I explained that I was familiar with the book, having done Webelos II the last two years, and that if we were going to do something as a family that would allow for him to get a pin we would complete the requirments for the pin. I also explained that they could do the same thing with their sons, only one parent ever did. I have a problem in that I don't like the way some of the other scouts treat my son. I believe it will be hard to correct this behavior in scouts when the child that is being picked on is my child. I also have a concern that parents will think that I am just signing off stuff in my childs book. I haven't signed off a thing in my sons Boy Scout book so far even though the SM has given me permission to do so. My son still has more stuff signed off than any of the other kids he crossed over with. I am reluctant to take the SM position because of these concerns. Our SM is retireing in about a year and a half. No one else seems interested in taking this position. Moving to another Troop is not an option, we live in a small town and we have only one Troop. Does anyone have any advice?