HateTheUniform

Thanks to everyone for the feedback on this topic. Very helpful. HTU

Has anyone ever been involved in the merger of 2 packs before? Our pack has been approached by another for a potential merger. They are getting small and think that joining with us will help keep the scouting program alive for them. I think our Pack is close in size to theirs, perhaps slightly bigger, but we are faced with a smaller group in a couple years when our Webelos dens (which are 75% of our Pack) graduate so we think this might be worth considering. Just curious if anyone has ever been through this and what the experience/issues might have been. This is by no means a done deal for us but a little practical knowledge might help us evaluate whether we want to take this on. I would appreciate it if when you respond you address my topic and not take this thread down a bunny trail on recruitment suggestions or anything else. Thanks

Bug: The den chief idea is good in theory but I had one for this den last year and he only added to the management challenge, he didn't take away from it. He never came prepared and when he was there he got as wrapped up in the mischief as the younger boys do. Fortunately, the parents of the autistic boys are always there. However, their management style is reactive -- that is, their boy does something inappropriate and then it gets attended to -- instead of preventive. I'm sure that is part of what they are learning as they help their sons cope with the condition. Autism is tough, it really is. I'm just looking for practical experiences with this situation to help my understand whether I'm on the right track. When you get these boys focused on something and they do it, it is quite rewarding. Unfortunately, those moments are diluted by a lot of challenging experiences too. Thanks for the input.

Carol: Go ahead and wear the uniform with pride. I would hope you are not seen smoling cigarettes while you wear it. That would undermine the teachings in the scouting program around good health and fitness. I know both my sons have felt shamed when they see someone in a scout uniform smoking a cigarette or incredibly overweight. I won't even go into the older boy scouts I see who have not yet earned their Merit Badge for personal grooming. This is one of the dilemma's of a visual identity -- it can make us look like hypocrites when we violate someone else's opinion of what the image needs to be. Thanks for the reply.

Sylvia: Thanks for your message and good to hear the program has been of value to your son. For the record, my den has 2 boys with autism and it manifests itself very differently in each boy. One boy, while pleasant and sweet, is more disconnected to his environment so the challenge with him is getting his attention. The other boy is pretty aware of what's going on but acts pretty aggressively. In both cases, the fathers are there so that is helpful. What is challenging is the frustration the other parents are feeling. Basically, they feel like their sons' cub scouting experience has been reduced to a special ed program. While we have a good size den and great parental involvement overall, there is a tension here. I do what I can to challenge all the boys (even the normal ones are not easy to manage including my high achiever son!) but the 2 autistic boys have a disproportionate impact on the order and flow of den meetings. I guess what I need to understand is how other den leaders of cubs have dealt with this type of issue -- from the perspective of the kids and the parents. This forum is remarkable and I appreciate everyone's contributions. Thanks all.(This message has been edited by HateTheUniform)

My username says it all but I will share my perspective. First, scouting is great. It teaches so many things to the boys and adds to a quality relationship between father and son. I've been pretty involved with both of my sons in the program for several years now. That being said, my view (and it seems the view of many parents I know) is that the uniform is anachronistic (not to mention way overpriced for a polyester blend shirt). I think Scouting needs a new look. Patches. badges, pins are fine but the uniform is seen by some of us as symbolic of the past and not part of the modern day. It's nice that people who were involved with it when they were younger can react it to it in such a positive way but I see no value in getting a free soda or a pat on the back for wearing a uniform. I get satisfaction after every den meeting I run where my youngest son has accomplished something new. The uniform will never live up to that experience. It can only symbolize it and I'm not much for symbolism. I'll get more out of watching my boys turn into responsible young men. Don't forget what Thomas Jefferson once said (paraphrase): A little rebellion is good every now and then. I think scouting needs a makeover so it's visual appeal is not a barrier to parents or their children. Those are my thoughts and I know full well that my username and comments will draw the ire of many of you. So be it.

Thanks for the quick replies to this. Sorry my attitude is such a concern to some but this is how I cope. If it offends, my apologies.

Any suggestions on how to deal with boys with autism? If you refer me to my local council, I doubt that will help. They are the most incompetent group of people I have ever worked with on a volunteer basis. Would appreciate references to direct resources if possible. Thanks(This message has been edited by HateTheUniform)