Scouting Would Be So Much Better Without The Parents

[eagle77]

First off, I am not a swim instructor.  He needs professional swimming help not mine or my sons help.  Swimming is a life skill, he is very far away from being able to pass the test.

 

Secondly, mom has known he needs help swimming she has told us he needs lessons but she has decided not to send him.  He does manage to go to a bunch of expensive camps already, so that is where the priorities are.

 

 You mean I was taught how to swim by a non-instructor. (dad) Yes it is a skill and believe me once you get a person comfortable with just being in the water the rest comes easy. I've taught many boys who never learned to swim how to and I am no instructor. I am in the process of teaching my 4 year old granddaughter. It is just like fire building or lashing, a skill that can be taught without having some kind of special certificate. Now was he handicapped in any way?  This could be a problem and in that case I would want to get an instructor. You never mentioned the other camps.

[mashmaster]

 You mean I was taught how to swim by a non-instructor. (dad) Yes it is a skill and believe me once you get a person comfortable with just being in the water the rest comes easy. I've taught many boys who never learned to swim how to and I am no instructor. I am in the process of teaching my 4 year old granddaughter. It is just like fire building or lashing, a skill that can be taught without having some kind of special certificate. Now was he handicapped in any way?  This could be a problem and in that case I would want to get an instructor. You never mentioned the other camps.

I can give her your contact info :-)  I do and do for the boys, if he went to camp he would have gotten to do 99% of everything which I told her.  He passed the beginner test barely so fear isn't the issue, it is a technical issue for him.  This week I have already given multiple hours for the boys, Not sure how much more I can give.  He isn't handicapped 

[eagle77]

I can give her your contact info :-)  I do and do for the boys, if he went to camp he would have gotten to do 99% of everything which I told her.  He passed the beginner test barely so fear isn't the issue, it is a technical issue for him.  This week I have already given multiple hours for the boys, Not sure how much more I can give.  He isn't handicapped 

 

  Sorry.

[Langstroth]

I couldn't help but smile reading this thread. It's no consolation, but it's just the same this side of the pond. Sometimes you just feel sorry for the yp, and despite the annoyance it creates, in many ways they are the yp who will benefit most from scouting - if only their parents would let them.

[Stosh]

I couldn't help but smile reading this thread. It's no consolation, but it's just the same this side of the pond. Sometimes you just feel sorry for the yp, and despite the annoyance it creates, in many ways they are the yp who will benefit most from scouting - if only their parents would let them.

 

Welcome to the forum, @@Langstroth

[chrisg478]

I love working with the kids, especially the Cubs. They get so excited about things that adults take for granted and they always want to learn more.

 

Most of my run-ins with parents come when I try to enforce the rules or even just common courtesy.

 

Like -

Kicking a kid off the archery range because he would not listen to directions (he had shot archery before so he knew it all) and he pointed a bow, arrow nocked, string drawn, at another child (his sister).

According to his mother he was just fooling around and would never have actually shot his sister.

My response was accidents happen, we don't "fool around" on the archery range, and it's MY RANGE. I am the range master, I make the rules, I get to decide who is allowed on the range, I am responsible for the safety of everyone on the range and your son must leave the range.  

She reported me to the camp director who informed her that it was MY RANGE, I make the rules, I get to decide who is allowed on the range, I am responsible for the safety of everyone on the range, and if I felt her son should leave the range then that's what should happen. She wasn't very happy with me or the camp director that day.    

 

Same day -

I am in the latrine (one hole) and a man walks in with his 2 kids (boy & girl). I said excuse me, could you all please wait outside?

When I was finished and went out the man proceeded to yell at me because his son got a glimpse of my rear end sitting on the toilet.

I replied that he should not have removed the "occupied" sign from the doorway (attached to a chain drawn across the doorway) and just barged in on me with his kids.

His reply - "How was I supposed to know that's what that sign meant".

I just walked away, shaking my head.

[Twocubdad]

You should have mooned him.

[mashmaster]

I love working with the kids, especially the Cubs. They get so excited about things that adults take for granted and they always want to learn more.

 

Most of my run-ins with parents come when I try to enforce the rules or even just common courtesy.

 

Like -

Kicking a kid off the archery range because he would not listen to directions (he had shot archery before so he knew it all) and he pointed a bow, arrow nocked, string drawn, at another child (his sister).

According to his mother he was just fooling around and would never have actually shot his sister.

My response was accidents happen, we don't "fool around" on the archery range, and it's MY RANGE. I am the range master, I make the rules, I get to decide who is allowed on the range, I am responsible for the safety of everyone on the range and your son must leave the range.  

She reported me to the camp director who informed her that it was MY RANGE, I make the rules, I get to decide who is allowed on the range, I am responsible for the safety of everyone on the range, and if I felt her son should leave the range then that's what should happen. She wasn't very happy with me or the camp director that day.    

 

Same day -

I am in the latrine (one hole) and a man walks in with his 2 kids (boy & girl). I said excuse me, could you all please wait outside?

When I was finished and went out the man proceeded to yell at me because his son got a glimpse of my rear end sitting on the toilet.

I replied that he should not have removed the "occupied" sign from the doorway (attached to a chain drawn across the doorway) and just barged in on me with his kids.

His reply - "How was I supposed to know that's what that sign meant".

I just walked away, shaking my head.

WOW just wow

[SSScout]

Then, on the other end of the spectrum, we have the parent that appreciates what you do .

I had a break from "Scout Skills" and was walking back to the Admin Pav to sit and cool off. I notice a boy and woman (his mother, I learned)in the middle of the field, obviously having a difficult discussion. I walk over and say "hello. Can I help?"

The Cub, maybe 8 years old, looks up at me and says "This (*%$##@!! bitch wants me to go home! I ain't

going no &^)*$$ place with this dirty (^%%$# ". I look at the woman, who smiles back at me and says " Yes,

he has a problem. And we have to leave camp for today." I ask how I can help? It is obvious to me the boy

suffers (and that is the word) from a condition I had only just read about.

The boy kicks his mother in the leg, HARD, and curses again. I tell him he needs to treat his mom better and some day he will appreciate her, she might be a good friend to have around some time. He curses me, tells me to "&%##$ off " and sits down in the grass.

I ask if she wants me to help her to her car? and she says yes. I pick up the boy like a bag of potatoes

under my arm and we go to the car, cursing and flailing boy in tow. I help her strap the boy into his

carseat (my work in the psychiatric hospital was useful again) and the boy settles down. He could unstrap

himself, but he doesn't. She thanks me and they drive off. Needless to say, I write a long incident report for the record. They do not return to camp that week.

 

Next year, I am Archery RO. The second day, after the safety talks of day one, the Cubs line up and have

fun hitting the targets. One Cub is very accurate and consistant. I look at the roster and his name seems

familiar. I ask the group of parent DenWalkers if his parent is among them, and sure enough, I recognize

his mother. This is the boy from the year before.

Now she has the time, she thanks me and I carefully ask if his medication has been adjusted? She smiles and says yes. Cub Scouting has been the outlet he needed, and (her words!) men like me were help to her.

 

This boy will have the most bullseyes and be one of the most polite, attentive Cubs that year.

Edited July 24, 2015 by SSScout

[mashmaster]

Then, on the other end of the spectrum, we have the parent that appreciates what you do .

I had a break from "Scout Skills" and was walking back to the Admin Pav to sit and cool off. I notice a boy and woman (his mother, I learned)in the middle of the field, obviously having a difficult discussion. I walk over and say "hello. Can I help?"

The Cub, maybe 8 years old, looks up at me and says "This (*%$##@!! bitch wants me to go home! I ain't

going no &^)*$$ place with this dirty (^%%$# ". I look at the woman, who smiles back at me and says " Yes,

he has a problem. And we have to leave camp for today." I ask how I can help? It is obvious to me the boy

suffers (and that is the word) from a condition I had only just read about.

The boy kicks his mother in the leg, HARD, and curses again. I tell him he needs to treat his mom better and some day he will appreciate her, she might be a good friend to have around some time. He curses me, tells me to "&%##$ off " and sits down in the grass.

I ask if she wants me to help her to her car? and she says yes. I pick up the boy like a bag of potatoes

under my arm and we go to the car, cursing and flailing boy in tow. I help her strap the boy into his

carseat (my work in the psychiatric hospital was useful again) and the boy settles down. He could unstrap

himself, but he doesn't. She thanks me and they drive off. Needless to say, I write a long incident report for the record. They do not return to camp that week.

 

Next year, I am Archery RO. The second day, after the safety talks of day one, the Cubs line up and have

fun hitting the targets. One Cub is very accurate and consistant. I look at the roster and his name seems

familiar. I ask the group of parent DenWalkers if his parent is among them, and sure enough, I recognize

his mother. This is the boy from the year before.

Now she has the time, she thanks me and I carefully ask if his medication has been adjusted? She smiles and says yes. Cub Scouting has been the outlet he needed, and (her words!) men like me were help to her.

 

This boy will have the most bullseyes and be one of the most polite, attentive Cubs that year.

Awesome story, loved reading it.

[mashmaster]

I too got the good side of parents this week.

 

I was a patrol advisor for 13 young men (aged 9 and 10) to help guide them through camp and learning to work as a patrol.  Half were from another council and the others from our council.  The boys had a great time with many ups and downs in the 100 degree heat and overcoming obstacles like rapelling for the first time for example.  At the end of 4 days the boys all were sad it was over and wanted to know when they will see me again.  Most likely I will not see most of the boys in the patrol other than the ones that were in my unit.  At the end a couple of leaders from the other unit came to me and were very appreciative of my efforts and thanked me.  They told me that they were scared because they had never been to this camp and had no idea what to expect.  They said that my leadership and encouragement for all the boys made them feel at ease.  They even bought me a hiking medallion for my hiking stick at the camp store.  Such a nice experience, even though there was a parent that was the definition of a helicopter parent.

 

I will remember the smiling faces of the boys forever, such a great feeling. 

[Rick_in_CA]

Next year, I am Archery RO. The second day, after the safety talks of day one, the Cubs line up and have

fun hitting the targets. One Cub is very accurate and consistant. I look at the roster and his name seems

familiar. I ask the group of parent DenWalkers if his parent is among them, and sure enough, I recognize

his mother. This is the boy from the year before.

Now she has the time, she thanks me and I carefully ask if his medication has been adjusted? She smiles and says yes. Cub Scouting has been the outlet he needed, and (her words!) men like me were help to her.

 

This boy will have the most bullseyes and be one of the most polite, attentive Cubs that year.

Wow. It's stuff like this that makes all the hoop jumping, paperwork, and aggravating adult drama worth it!

Thank you for sharing it!

[SpEdScouter]

In our troop the problem I see is where does the role of "Scoutmaster" end and "Parent" begin?

 

For example some Scouts if they are having an issue, run to their Dad. Even though that person is not in charge where they should be going to the ASM or SM.

 

Another, some leaders do spend more time with their son than they do with the other scouts.

 

So when, where, and how do they take off their "Dad" hat and put on their leader hat and vise versa?

[Gone]

In our troop the problem I see is where does the role of "Scoutmaster" end and "Parent" begin?

 

For example some Scouts if they are having an issue, run to their Dad. Even though that person is not in charge where they should be going to the ASM or SM.

 

Another, some leaders do spend more time with their son than they do with the other scouts.

 

So when, where, and how do they take off their "Dad" hat and put on their leader hat and vise versa?

Nope. They should be going to their PL or SPL.

 

Dads are there to drive and supervise, that's it. And no "dads", Mr. Smith or Mr. Jones.

[Hedgehog]

In our troop the problem I see is where does the role of "Scoutmaster" end and "Parent" begin?

 

For example some Scouts if they are having an issue, run to their Dad. Even though that person is not in charge where they should be going to the ASM or SM.

 

Another, some leaders do spend more time with their son than they do with the other scouts.

 

So when, where, and how do they take off their "Dad" hat and put on their leader hat and vise versa?

 

 

Nope. They should be going to their PL or SPL.

 

Dads are there to drive and supervise, that's it. And no "dads", Mr. Smith or Mr. Jones.

 

Most dads will follow the example of the leaders.  When a boy comes up to me (as an ASM and often the leader in charge of an outing) and I send them to their PL, most dads will do the same (or send them to me and have me send them to their PL).  In our troop, we try to have leaders who are not the dads work with kids when needed.  Most dads realize that their kids learn better (more easily) from other adults.  

 

The dad hat vs the leader hat is tough.  My rule is that I try to treat my son the same as other scouts.  If anything, I have higher expectations and standards for him because I know what he can do.  We joke about needing "Scout Repellant" around the adult site because our kids tend to keep coming over -- especially when we have good food.   

 

My solution is to try to treat the other scouts as if they are my son, rather than treating my son as if he is just another scout.