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A letter from my SE


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#221 David CO

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Posted 28 September 2017 - 11:18 AM

Sadly.  I can see this happening.  Multiple times I've overheard scout "private" conversations with inappropriate statements.  Boys trying to be men.  

 

A "boys only" environment does enable it.  Young men are learning how to communicate new interests in a "boys only" environment.  I'm not against a "boys only" program, but I do not think "boys only" has anywhere near as much value as people assert.  

 

 

I have overheard many similar conversations in the boys' locker room. I don't like it either. 


Edited by David CO, 28 September 2017 - 11:24 AM.

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#222 walk in the woods

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Posted 28 September 2017 - 02:18 PM

Sadly.  I can see this happening.  Multiple times I've overheard scout "private" conversations with inappropriate statements.  Boys trying to be men.  

 

A "boys only" environment does enable it.  Young men are learning how to communicate new interests in a "boys only" environment.  I'm not against a "boys only" program, but I do not think "boys only" has anywhere near as much value as people assert.  

Maybe the appropriate question to be asked given this scenario is who is in the better position to correct the behavior, a female or a male adult leader?  If the language is just boys "trying to be men" it might be equally effective.  If there's an actual belief system taking hold I suspect the corrective would be more powerful coming from a male scoutmaster.    


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#223 Eagledad

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Posted 28 September 2017 - 02:44 PM

Maybe the appropriate question to be asked given this scenario is who is in the better position to correct the behavior, a female or a male adult leader?  If the language is just boys "trying to be men" it might be equally effective.  If there's an actual belief system taking hold I suspect the corrective would be more powerful coming from a male scoutmaster.    

I am told by my child psychology friends that youth are much more influenced by role models of the same gender, which is one reason I am against going coed at the troop age.

 

But, what really bothers me about Fred's statement is that the Troop is where scouts are supposed to grow in character through the practice of making decisions. Fred is basically saying that the program doesn't work as advertised. I contend that gender only programs (because girls do it also) are only enabled to what their role models view as acceptable.  

 

I've told this story before, but I'm reminded of the time I walked over to watch the troop play capture the flag. They didn't know I was watching because stood out of view. A  new 14 year old transfer started swearing a few four letter words was stopped by another scout who said, "Hey, we don't do that here". The new scout responded with, "Gotcha". And that was that. I have watched discussions on this forum debating the language we should allow scouts. We son't allow some of the language that some adults here think is acceptable. Our scouts know their limits expected by the role models. 

 

Barry


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"Experience is the hardest teacher. It gives the test first, then the lesson."





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