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Death of a Thousand Paper Cuts: Time to switch?


Best Answer highcountry , 11 April 2017 - 10:05 AM

To the original OP. You are involved with a bunch of lazy, selfish, self centered and some dysfunctional parents and the mess of a pack they created. The previous CC did NOT fix the issues, they told you that as they were burned out and fed up. You inherited a bunch of adult babies who are completely used to someone else doing everything for them, complain when everything is not just so, complain that you don't send them enough reminders....on and on. These people will not change. The only way to fix it is to eliminate (Don't allow them to recharter) all the deadwood adults and complaining parents and start with people who you can somewhat depend on and are reasonable functional people, not adult babies. Be prepared for all kinds of back biting, complaints, drama etc if you take this route. To my way of looking at things, way too much grief, drama and stress for someone trying to VOLUNTEER and make things good. 

It is high time these dysfunctional group of people stop having a place to dump all the work/grief etc and either learn to do something for themselves of have the pack sink into the swampy mess these people created. The longer you stay in there the longer you will be enabling them, they are never going to step up or even appreciate what you do or change....their problem, not yours.

 

Your son will only be young a short while, find another pack and just go. The funds thing for the adult application may be a blessing from above, you are not an official anything other than being a doormat for loser parents and "helpers". Go elsewhere and give your son a good experience, help in a pack that has it going, enjoy your life and other people that have a clue. As for the deserving boys in the existing pack, yes maybe stinks for them but they need to make their own decisions and find their own way, you cannot fix the world. Have a backbone, fully realize the reality of the situation, MAKE A DECISION....stick to the decision and move on. Don't spend any time explaining it or justifying it or answer the why's why not's etc. Walk away clean and move on, don't feel bad and don't look back.

 

Go choose another pack NOW, DO NOT do another thing about the adult app and funds do not mention it and do not yourself write a check and pay so you can be neglected, abused, taken for granted. Sign up your son in the other pack, notify them by email that you are not the CC and you and your son have left for pack X, do not discuss with these bozos ahead of time, do not tell them in person. They may not even bother reading the email and become bewildered when you are suddenly not there to spoon feed them and take them by the hand and make everything all better for them. They will certainly resent you and worse as they fully expect you to stick around and do everything. The real anger is they deep down realize it ain't gonna happen in the pack anymore unless they actually do something, which they seem incapable of and probably won't.

 

At the end of the day you have to live with yourself, do the best for your son and try to live a life you feel you have made a worthwhile commitment and try to be happy. You have one life to live, don't waste it on miscreants.

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#21 RMI2.0

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Posted 11 April 2017 - 08:49 AM

FWIW, in the units that I'm in, adults pay for their own application out of their own dues.

 

Understood. However our pack voted to pay for the adult leadership fees. So, if it were the case that adults paid, then that would be a non-issue. In this case though, the pack is paying for some and not others willy nilly.


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#22 MrBob

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Posted 11 April 2017 - 09:47 AM

FWIW, in the units that I'm in, adults pay for their own application out of their own dues.

 

We don't charge our volunteers a fee to let them volunteer.


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#23 highcountry

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Posted 11 April 2017 - 10:05 AM   Best Answer

To the original OP. You are involved with a bunch of lazy, selfish, self centered and some dysfunctional parents and the mess of a pack they created. The previous CC did NOT fix the issues, they told you that as they were burned out and fed up. You inherited a bunch of adult babies who are completely used to someone else doing everything for them, complain when everything is not just so, complain that you don't send them enough reminders....on and on. These people will not change. The only way to fix it is to eliminate (Don't allow them to recharter) all the deadwood adults and complaining parents and start with people who you can somewhat depend on and are reasonable functional people, not adult babies. Be prepared for all kinds of back biting, complaints, drama etc if you take this route. To my way of looking at things, way too much grief, drama and stress for someone trying to VOLUNTEER and make things good. 

It is high time these dysfunctional group of people stop having a place to dump all the work/grief etc and either learn to do something for themselves of have the pack sink into the swampy mess these people created. The longer you stay in there the longer you will be enabling them, they are never going to step up or even appreciate what you do or change....their problem, not yours.

 

Your son will only be young a short while, find another pack and just go. The funds thing for the adult application may be a blessing from above, you are not an official anything other than being a doormat for loser parents and "helpers". Go elsewhere and give your son a good experience, help in a pack that has it going, enjoy your life and other people that have a clue. As for the deserving boys in the existing pack, yes maybe stinks for them but they need to make their own decisions and find their own way, you cannot fix the world. Have a backbone, fully realize the reality of the situation, MAKE A DECISION....stick to the decision and move on. Don't spend any time explaining it or justifying it or answer the why's why not's etc. Walk away clean and move on, don't feel bad and don't look back.

 

Go choose another pack NOW, DO NOT do another thing about the adult app and funds do not mention it and do not yourself write a check and pay so you can be neglected, abused, taken for granted. Sign up your son in the other pack, notify them by email that you are not the CC and you and your son have left for pack X, do not discuss with these bozos ahead of time, do not tell them in person. They may not even bother reading the email and become bewildered when you are suddenly not there to spoon feed them and take them by the hand and make everything all better for them. They will certainly resent you and worse as they fully expect you to stick around and do everything. The real anger is they deep down realize it ain't gonna happen in the pack anymore unless they actually do something, which they seem incapable of and probably won't.

 

At the end of the day you have to live with yourself, do the best for your son and try to live a life you feel you have made a worthwhile commitment and try to be happy. You have one life to live, don't waste it on miscreants.


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#24 Col. Flagg

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Posted 11 April 2017 - 10:18 AM

At the end of the day you have to live with yourself, do the best for your son and try to live a life you feel you have made a worthwhile commitment and try to be happy. You have one life to live, don't waste it on miscreants.

 

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#25 RMI2.0

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Posted 11 April 2017 - 11:26 AM

High County and Col. Flagg,

 

You both made me laugh. Thank you. High County, you said exactly what my husband said, and what I was thinking. The reason I came here was to run this past others to see if they thought this was worthwhile, as a last ditch sort of thing. Admittedly, my mind was almost entirely made up when I made the post. 

 

I resigned the position today with a respectful and tactful letter to the other leaders without blame or details. 

 

At the very least I will stick with the pack until school lets out and day camp is over. If things go well, then its water under the bridge for me. I will still look at this other pack nearby, since I know my son does know several boys there who would be in his den. Better to be a highly productive scout parent than a failed CC.

 

As many have said, this is for my son, and I have to do MY best to ensure he has as good of an experience as he can. And won't his experience be all the better if his parents aren't stressed, groaning or resentful? :-)

 

Thanks to everyone for taking the time to read and respond. I truly appreciate it.


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#26 Tampa Turtle

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Posted 11 April 2017 - 01:52 PM

I left one Pack when my son was a Wolf because I just couldn't stand that group of irresponsible Dad's (who thought Cub Scout camping was about drinking, playing cards, and ignoring the boys). I found a good Pack and was glad I did. Congrats on pulling the trigger. Yours sounded like a leaking lifeboat.


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