After nine and a half years, my wife and I decided to transfer to another Pack. I had served as the Committee Chairman, Cubmaster and Den Leader. I resigned at the end of last year as the Cubmaster to concentrate on getting the Webelos II Den ready for Boy Scouts. There were also some problems with the new Charter Organization and some new committee members. Anyway, the new year started with lots of drama. The new wolf den of 12 boys decided that they didn't like the new leadership and transferred to a new pack. I asked the Committee if they got payment from those families for their neckerchiefs, slides and handbooks. I was told by the Treasurer that since I didn't attend the committee meeting (I was on vacation in August) that my input was not needed or wanted and that with all the extra money we had left over from last year (money left over because her husband did not have the rain gutter regatta that we charged all the scouts for) they decided to let them walk without paying and this would not affect on this years dues and activity fees. At our first Pack Meeting, the parents were taken into a separate room for the "Parent Discussion" where the Treasurer stands up and tells everyone that due to the loss of a bunch of scouts, our dues would be going up by almost $100 per scout. I have a Webelos II den of 12 boys. Naturally, most of the parents in my den came up to me and asked what this was all about as we have less that five months left and that cost was too much. Come to find out, we were being asked to pay $125 for den supplies for a Wolf den that did not exist and $125 for a tiger den of two boys. $125 for a Bear Den of 4 boys and yes my den gets $125 for 12 boys. After many discussions with the committee and parents, I received a nasty email from the treasurer telling me that my wife and I were not needed and if we didn't like it we should move to a different Pack. This is exactly what we did. She was under the impression that I was making all the questions and concerns up regarding parents being upset about the cost increase. Then, nine other families in my den decided to transfer as well. At no time did I ask any families to leave with me. I was contacted by nine families saying they did not want to stay in a Pack that allowed leaders to act like that. They transferred as well. This was a blessing in disguise as the new pack only had two Webelos II and no Den Leader as he was transferred by the military. I received one last nasty email from the Pack Secretary telling me what a horrible person I was forcing all these families to make a choice to go with me and I would regret it all my living days. I did not respond and things died down for a month and a half. So this morning, I receive a text from the Pack Secretary and the only thing it has is a middle finger emoji. Funny thing about all this is that she is the wife of the Pack COR. I have had about enough of this childish behavior. Should I file a formal complaint with District regarding her behavior or just let it go. I don't want to have to continue to field these texts and emails.
Should I file a complaint
Posted 22 December 2016 - 12:41 PM
Move Forward and ignore the past. By getting worked up about her behavior your letting her control you. Not worth it.
Posted 22 December 2016 - 01:14 PM
I would suggest simply laughing at the childish actions and moving on with your day, knowing that she was thinking of you.
Posted 22 December 2016 - 01:49 PM
As others suggested, move on. Is it hard to do? Yes. Does it get really frustrating at times thinking about it or hearing something about the situation and/or unit? Absolutely. Is there anything district and/or council can do about it? Not really.
I was accused of "stealing" Cub Scouts from the troop that is with the same CO as my pack. Yep i stole their Scout after trying to help them out, offering advice to prevent folks from transferring or quitting, recruiting for them against my better judgement, and camping with them when all their adults left except one so they could have 2 deep leadership. Since I'm on the district committee, folks know the situation between me and the SM.
"Train 'em. Trust 'em. LET THEM LEAD!" William "Green Bar Bill" Hillcourt
Posted 22 December 2016 - 02:16 PM
I would just ignore it, as well. Like a good whine, it will get better when aged. It may take some folks a while, but in the end they always give up.
Posted 22 December 2016 - 03:44 PM
The nice thing about email is that you don't have to open them.
Posted 22 December 2016 - 04:08 PM
yep, all you can do is ignore teh kick in the gut as payment for your services and move on.
Exactly what I had to do too..... well a bit different situation but still a kick in the gut as a thank you.....
I will offer a possible paradigm shift though....
sometimes the new leadership can feel pressured or controlled in some way or another by old leadership even if that old leadership is just trying to be supportive and helpful. It's often best for someone in an old guard role to completely disengage for a long time to let the new guard get grounded in their own way.
It's kinda what happened to me in a way, but in reverse.
The old guard stepped down after burning out, but were still involved with younger sons in the pack.
I took things on when they didn't want it anymore and nobody else would step up. I didn't ask for it.
they stayed out for a while, kind of.....
BUT they couldn't let go
did nothing to help me and ultimately undermined me with a firm kick in the gut as payment for a couple good years of hard work and service to the pack wearing many hats.
edit: I don't think the kick was intentional really, but that's what it ended up being from my perspective.
Edited by blw2, 22 December 2016 - 04:09 PM.
Posted 22 December 2016 - 04:14 PM
Piggy-backing off David CO's comment: email addresses can be sent straight to spam. Phone numbers can be blocked.
Ranman328, don't let someone else's bad day become your bad day.
Posted 22 December 2016 - 04:35 PM
Posted 22 December 2016 - 08:13 PM
Is it likely that they will become better people? If not, they already have a "life sentence." No complaint can do worse to them. If they keep on keeping on, it will be noticed and those who notice will be more impressed with their discoveries than your insights.
Besides, the best revenge is living well. Enjoy your new pack.
Edited by TAHAWK, 22 December 2016 - 08:14 PM.
Posted 22 December 2016 - 10:56 PM
I think you should definitely report the incident to council. That said though, I don't believe council would do anything about it.
Posted 23 December 2016 - 08:07 AM
Move on. Ignore them.
But I would be tempted to forward to the district unit commissioner chair. It sounds like their unit could benefit from a friendly face. Or at least the district commissioners would know there might be a pack that needs help soon.
Posted 23 December 2016 - 10:10 AM
I would let your new pack leadership know about the situation if they don't know already then let it go and work on getting the scouts ready for Boy Scouts.
If your old pack isn't on the district's radar with losing two dens of 12 scouts then you have a crappy DE who probably won't be much help anyways.
Posted 23 December 2016 - 11:12 AM
Enjoy your new pack and let it go. She is so childish, it is not even worth the time of day. Complaints to council will get you nowhere. A new Commissioner is just one more person she will not listen too (in her own humble mind, she is right).
Posted 23 December 2016 - 12:17 PM
As is often the case, the problem is not simple and not limited to one person. I hear a "hands off" CO in the background. Since the Pack is the CO's, and the treasurer of the Pack has control of the funds, perhaps there is more to this than first OP can tell.
What a blessing is a totally open and "transparent" treasurer. I hear (again, in the background) more monetary rumblings. The transferring Wolves didn't need to pay any dues? We had "left over" money? Ummmmm.....
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