Yah, what @Eagledad said, eh?
Workin' with lots of troops, yeh quickly give up da notion that there's One Right Way. Either that or yeh become a commissioner who's just an annoyin' pain in da kiester to all and sundry.
Scoutin' is all about people. Young people, old people, ordinary folks. It's a game of patience and gentle nudges and gradual progress toward (hopefully) shared goals. Adults are learnin' as much or more than the boys along the trail, eh? Bein' a friend to da unit doesn't mean readin' to 'em from da Holy Guidebooks, it means listenin' to 'em and helpin' 'em find some approach that they can grok and buy into that gets 'em down the trail aways.
I think you're bein' thoughtful and doin' fine, @Eagle94-A1. If I were to make any suggestion to tweak da current approach, I'd say 2 adult ASMs per patrol is a bit of overkill. It also makes for da possibility of conflict if the adults don't yet share a vision. Sometimes, the right spot for an ASM is to be in charge of somethin' really important but out of the way.
IMHO, the challenge is that me and the naysayer see the problem, but have two diametrically opposed views as to the solution. I want the youth in charge, having more authority and having responsibility. Basically solving it on the production line.
Naysayer wants to fix it prior to SMCs and BORs with adults reviewing the skills and saying whether the Scout is ready for the SMC and BOR or not. basically solving the problem at the end of the production.
And naysayer essentially wants it his way or the highway. There was some conflict over this, basically between me and him, and its ongoing. And yes it is affecting the Scouts. One ASM, the one described as levelheaded above, told the me the conflict IS starting to affect the Scouts, and he is just waiting for his son to get fed up with the troop so he can find one closer to the son's house.
And I think there may be another issue that is affecting this. Apparently he's upset about one of his former Cubs BOR that I sat in on. Long story short I asked the Scout about his performance as a PL, what he could do better next time, and more importantly that "once you wear the green bars, you are a leader in the troop whether you continue to wear them or not. It will be expected that you step up and help out" as my old SPL once told me. Apparently naysayer didn't like that I asked about his performance as a PL since it was not required for advancement, and the SM had discusses the matter a 2 weeks earlier and again at the SMC that nite Which is ironic because the naysayer is all about retesting and proving oneself regarding skills, yet ask some questions about performance as a PL is a problem.
On a different note. It was announced last night that the troop will use NSPs for six months when the Webelos come aboard in December. Naysayer is thinking we get 16 of the 24, and 8 will drop by summer camp, keeping 8. If middle son's den comes aboard as 6-9 Scouts, and that is possible, then I will raise hell if anyone but me is assigned to them as their ASM. The Webelos do NOT need to be treated as Webelos IIIs. My son's den rocked at the Webeloree, actually carrying the weight of the combine Webelos 1 and 2 dens, and this past weekend they did a stellar job camping. The Webelos did the cooking with minimal assistance, and I stress MINIMAL assistance from the adults. The Webelos needed a few reminders about KP at meals, but overall they did a stellar job. In fact they did better than older son's NSP on the last camp out, and most of them have been Boy Scouts for a year now! I am not going to let Naysayer, or any adult-led oriented ASM, screw up that group. yes I still consider them "MY SCOUTS."