Vote by peers the only way in?
Posted 21 May 2014 - 06:39 PM
Posted 13 June 2014 - 12:18 PM
My son was elected to OA recently and attended Ordeal this past weekend. Another boy in his Troop was not elected and his mother was VERY upset about it. So she had one of the ASM sign an Ordeal registration form for her son. She took him to Ordeal on Friday with the signed form and registration money and the OA staff allowed him to stay and complete Ordeal. So I can tell you that I know being voted in by your peers is not the only way in...at least at this lodge.
I would not recommend this route as it has caused a conflict in the Troop and the boys who were honestly voted in feel like they have been slighted. And I feel like it took something away from their experience.
I have considered contacting OA staff for the lodge and discuss my concerns but at this point I can't decide. What do you all think?
To me, this is purely an issue with the lodge's ordeal registration process. Granted the ASM had no business signing a registration form, but the lodge should not have allowed the registration since the scout in question was not elected and the election form turned in by the election team would not have included the scout. So the big issue is how did the scout's registration get past the ordeal registrar's scrutiny. That is where the problem lies.
Posted 18 July 2014 - 12:08 AM
To MomLeader I would respectfully say that no matter what the odds your son will get in when he deserves it. By that time...after gaining experience, skills, and maturity he will be the description of an OA member period, and that will be in its own time not yours.
To JCMom, I understand your son's disappointment in the situation as well as your own frustration and obviously consequences should occur and probably have already begun to happen. Most likely no one will really be happy with the end result. I do believe to be fair to the boy who's mom "cheated" his way in to the OA, he should be given the opportunity by the SM or the Lodge Chief if necessary to retract his membership and agree to go through the process again honestly. From that point if he's a scout he will do whats right.
NOW if he won't, and his mother is the pushy type with such a personality as has been attributed to her beyond your own description by many here (that pops-up in every troop sooner or later)... petty as it might be, you may feel some recompense when his Eagle BoR comes up. There is little doubt the boy will make it that far with such a mother. BoR's are supposed to be teaching moments and recognition of development but they can also be the place of honest comeuppances to teach and develop.
Posted 06 October 2014 - 06:43 PM
Posted 17 July 2015 - 06:17 PM
Posted 25 September 2015 - 03:47 PM
Just wanted to post to say thank you for this thread and the great responses. My son did not get tapped out last night and he was crushed...I mean...it surprised me how crushed he was. This thread has helped me to think about ways to positively handle this with him when I pick him up from camp tomorrow. Of course, by tomorrow he probably will not even remember how he felt last night.....lol.
Alamance, I've been there, and it feels terrible. It took 3 years on the ballot for my son to be elected. Looking back, he probably lacked maturity the first year. The second year was definitely a popularity contest. However, he did eventually make it, and he really embraced it. Maybe because he had to wait, he valued it more. He has become involved with the lodge and jumps at every opportunity for a service weekend, trail crew day, or pretty much anything else.
I found the link you posted regarding elections a few years ago. We did find that it helped to make an actual ballot as opposed to having kids write down names. In addition, i really started taking time to talk with any candidate that met the requirements for OA. We let them know that if elected, we expect them to not only complete the ordeal, but really become involved in the lodge. If you can't commit to that, I completely understand and will not think less of you for not being on the ballot. I found that these steps give us a good pool of OA brothers that really care, and really want to be part of it.
Best of luck to you and your son.
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